Awareness of Reaction: June 10, 2016
Awareness is vital in our lives. Kenneth Cole once said, “To be aware is more important than what you wear.” Being aware of the hundreds of thoughts that enter our mind daily, allows us the opportunity to decide which ones to give energy to. Being aware of the needs of the people around us, allows us an awesome opportunity to be a blessing. Being aware of the many different lifestyles and beliefs around us, allows us another great opportunity to learn, be accepting, be more loving, and be open. Being aware of all the beauty around us, gives us an opportunity to pause and be thankful.
One of the key areas I have chosen to focus on, in my personal life, is being aware of my emotions and feelings and my reaction to those feelings and emotions. It is perfectly normal to experience the full range of human emotions. We all experience frustration, sadness, anger, fear, shame, and guilt. These emotions do not make you less of a human being but instead they make you more connected and more expansive in your awareness and thought process. They leave you with a feeling of being more connected to all of mankind because we all experience the same things. I have found it is important to allow myself to feel these emotions and not resist them. Resisting them allows them to build up inside, and over time they create a heaviness that we carry around with us.
It is not always necessary to react to your emotions and thoughts. When someone cuts you off in traffic, frustrates you at work, or cuts in front of you in a long line, what is your reaction? My reaction has always been to act out on my feelings of anger and frustration. I quickly realized that by reacting, I am giving them control over me. I am no longer in control of myself. It was a life changing moment for me when I realized that no one does anything to me. I used to say, “he/she made me mad.” “He/she upset me.” “They caused the break-up of my relationship.” “He cheated on me.” The truth and realization that NO ONE does anything to me completely changed how I respond to my emotions and feelings. I did it to myself. I chose to be mad. I chose to be angry. I chose to be frustrated. It was my choice. The other person was just being who they are. We must develop the awareness that we are not the victims of what’s happening. Instead see what’s happening as a great opportunity to free yourself from what has always been your normal response.
Wow, what peace I have always found in not reacting. I allow myself to feel the emotion or to have the thought. I recognize this is a normal part of our humanness. I am learning more and more, moment by moment to be still and not react. When I act out on my anger, frustration or other emotions, this creates an imbalance to my inner peace. Allow your emotions to be. Experience your emotions. Feel your emotions. Panache Desai says, “how often in life is it true that the only person in the room who knows you are angry is you?” I will go a step further and say, how often is it that the only person in the room who knows you are frustrated, upset, not feeling well, or sad is you? We all have people in our lives that wear all their feelings and emotions on their shoulder. You know when they are upset, mad, frustrated or have a negative attitude because of their reaction. Remember, no one does anything to you. Ever. You do it to yourself. Starting today I challenge you to feel what you feel, however you choose to feel it, but then take ownership for your response to those feelings by actively being aware of your thoughts and actions at all times.
I set an intention to completely allow myself to feel the emotion without reacting in a negative way. This adds to the peace of our environments and our inner self. Thanks for reading my thoughts. I look forward to seeing you next Sunday for my Weekly Sunday Blog.
Peace and blessings
Great message Vince!
Vickie
Vickie,
Thanks for your kindness.
Vince
Fantastic words of enlightenment 💞. I am setting myself to this inner mode of stop, think, and then keep my peace✝
Melody
Melody,
So grateful for you and your continued support. I appreciate your awesome intention to stop, think, and then keep the peace.
Much love
Vince
Greg,
Wow. Thanks for opening up and sharing your story. I am so grateful to have you and your awareness as part of my life. You’ve taught me so much and contributed greatly to my spiritual growth. Stay aware!
Much love,
Vince
When I Go to Gym Mon-Thu, It’s These Older gentlemen’s that been going there for years. They were talking amongst themselves one day. My thinking they are having private conversation. Then 5 minutes later they were talking louder… It was something they were talking among themselves prior before, then they wanted it to be heard. I kept on walking on the Treadmill, I didn’t show no attitude…. I didn’t feel the need to get mad about it…. That’s their feelings and agreement about how they feel. I didn’t let it offend me at all.
Thanks Vince!
Dianne,
Thanks for sharing. It is a real blessing that you were able to be in control of your actions related to the situation. Thanks for your awareness.
Vince
It is not what happens to you, but how you react to it and how you perceive it and more importantly how you then act on it. Two people are walking down the street. On the other side of the street, a mutual friend walks by, head down and doesn’t say hi. One friend reacts and is angry because their friend didn’t say hi. The other person knows their mutual friend has experienced a recent loss and is preoccupied.
Symptoms of burn out is usually absent when you start a job. But as you begin to feel emotional stress and increasing job-related disillusionment and act on those feelings, you begin to lose the ability to adapt to the work environment. Then you begin to display negative attitudes to your co-workers, your job and your patients. This leads to exhaustion, especially emotional exhaustion and it leads to reduced personal accomplishment. Depersonalization also occurs which results in an indifferent attitude towards work which manifests itself as negative, callous, and cynical behaviours or inteaction with colleagues or patients in an impersonal manner. By giving into your emotions you feel more frustrated, angry, fearful, anxious . It is hard then to feel happiness, joy, pleasure or contentment. It leads to feeling overwhelmed, disslusioned, hopeless and hard to provide empathy. Not to mention insomnia and other physical problems. So one thing, like you said, of taking it to the level of acting on your emotions, leads to a host of other problems.
So, yes, experience emotions but watch out. Like an out of control car, you can wind up in a ditch and sometimes if you misperceived a situation, the whole sorry episode was for nothing.
Sibyl,
Thanks for the awesome examples you shared for us all. I am grateful for your insight and awareness.
Vince
It is a Powerful thing when you realize that you are NOT the victim. I was told a long time ago that we teach people how to treat us, (I believe it was said on Oprah) and I believe. We do that in part by the way we react to their treatment. I recently had an experience where I received an email from my boss that Really upset me. It upset me to the point that I was physically shaking. If she had said the same to me in person, I don’t that I would have had the same reaction. However, I was so angry that I through out all better judgement and fired off a response. l had not even stopped shaking when I hit “send”. I remember reading it to a coworker just before sending it, and she said Greg, are you sure you want to send that”? I simply looked at her and with an exaggerated movement pressed Send. I then waited for the response, which took more than 24 hours. I didn’t get fired, but it certainly didn’t win me any awards. I wish I had been able to step back, take a deep breath and respond instead of react. I believe I taught them that I will not just sit silently, but I wish I had. It brought me to a level that I do not like to stoop to. My reaction went against my believe that we need to “stop being offended” (Wayne Dyer). If my confidence in myself was solid, I would not have been offended by the email. I would have been for more effective in getting my point across had I taken the time to measure my response. I would also be able to be happy with myself that I did not let someone else bring me to their level.
Thank you Vincent for your insight.
Peace, happiness, and let your light Shine!
Gregory