Posted on by Vince Shifflett

Loneliness: My Personal Journey

 

I have been living alone and single for the past 3 years and for the most part I am good. I have come to appreciate the alone time. It is in the alone time that I have been able to pursue my passions, meditate, pray, and really get in touch with my spiritual being. I would be lying however if I said I never get lonely. I have tons of friends and family who love me dearly. They surround me. So, I’m not really alone. That tells me that the loneliness comes from within.

How can one feel so lonely while surrounded by so many? How can one feel lonely despite the fact that they have a spouse or partner?

I was in an 18 year beautiful relationship, so I understand what it feels like to share that intimacy with someone special. It is an attachment that I believe is desired by most. I also understand the importance of being alone even when the loneliness feeling gets overwhelming.

I had been fine for a couple of weeks. Feeling grateful, blissful, happy, and at complete peace. Then suddenly, while walking out to grab a bite of dinner tonight, it hit me. “It” being that thought and subsequent feeling of loneliness. This is a cycle I allow myself to go through albeit less frequent the more I come in line with the truth that I am really not alone.

So, I am sitting here in this restaurant writing, while allowing the loneliness phase of the cycle to be with me once again. Writing has been incredibly therapeutic for me during these times. I am however determined to not stay here in this feeling of loneliness for long. Being aware of the feeling, coupled with the immediate expression of gratitude, has allowed me to shorten the amount of time I spend with this feeling.

I believe loneliness is part of our human experience and something we all go through at some point in our lives. As a result of that belief, I am learning the importance of not berating myself during the loneliness phase of the cycle but instead accepting that it is a normal human emotion.

A great truth for me was the realization and discovery that we are all connected making it impossible to be alone. Even with the knowledge of this truth, loneliness still invades me to the core at times.

I will continue moving forward toward my quest. My quest to not be free from the experience of human emotions like loneliness, but instead change my reaction to the feelings.

I would love to hear your stories about loneliness. By sharing, you may help someone dealing with that emotion to understand that they are not alone either. None of us are. Spirit is always with us.

Peace and love,

Vince

 

 

 

21 Replies to “Loneliness: My Personal Journey”

  1. My belief is that loneliness affects everyone at some stage in their life. Finding the reason and solution for our loneliness , however, can be a difficult and complex process. On the surface it may seem simple. Why then are we still lonely if we have friends and a healthy relationship?Are we nurturing ourselves on a deeper level also? Are we listening to that inner voice that leads us to developing our spirituality through prayer and meditation? Have you ever experienced feeling less anxious and depressed when you surrender to a higher power? This can be very powerful. Think about it for a moment. Anxiety dominates our thoughts and is mentally and physically exhausting. This leads to fear which inhibits us and leads to isolation. This results in a vicious cycle that traps us and blocks our ability to move forward in a healthy way and negatively affects our relationships and perpetrates loneliness. An awareness of the battle we are faced with every day between good and evil helps to center us and give us strength. I also believe it’s important to carry your cross ( as the Bible says) and you will be rewarded.

  2. These words ring true. Thanks for writing. Love ya old friend.
    Amy

  3. So real, So relevant, and So true for so many. Surrounded by a room full of people yet completely alone…
    turn that into your strength, be that “One Voice” and you are heard above all others, be the one to stand when all others cannot make it to their feet. We see those who act alone as Heroes, it can be your super power!!

  4. Love this, and the Truth that comes with it… At the end of the Day, We All are Humans…. Will share this.. Blessings my friend

    1. Terre,

      Thank you so much for sharing. I am thrilled that you signed up to follow the blog. I am extremely grateful for you support and I look forward to your future feedback and thoughts. Blessings to you as well.

      Vince

  6. Great article, Vince. It is important for us to share such stories, as we never know who it’s going to touch. Sometimes we think that it’s something we deal with own our own, when the truth is, many people, on a daily basis, deal with exactly what we’re experiencing.

    1. Wally,

      Thank you for your feedback. You are right. We all have similar experiences in life. My story is not unique but I share it in hopes that it will encourage other. I am grateful for your support.

      Vince

  7. Loneliness is something we can all connect through, I think it affects everyone at times. It’s comforting to hear you and others share your thoughts and wisdom. Looking back, some of the worst decisions I made in life were the result of consuming loneliness. If I had turned to prayer, gratitude, and mindfulness, I feel certain some outcomes would’ve been different. Thank you, Vince for sharing and encouraging me each week. I look forward to your blog and feel enriched each time I read it.
    Love you!
    Cristy

    1. Chrisy,

      You hit the nail on the head by saying, “turning to prayer, gratitude, and mindfulness will change the outcome. I am terribly grateful for your love and support.

      Many blessings,
      Vince

  8. Hi Vince,

    Thanks for sharing your powerful Journey; As I reflect in your story, I have the opportunity to stand in my story and understand my relationship with loneliness.

    I have live, feel, hug, make love to loneliness for 38yrs, even when I had a relationship I felt lonely, that no one understand me, felt disconnected, like if I was from another realm, to the point I didn’t want to exist anymore. But life has its ways and turns, to help me understand my journey, I’ve been meditating about loneliness and oneness for over one year and what I have learned from this relationship of loneliness is my invitation of separation of all life. As I am becoming awake in the state of mindfulness, in my deeper within journey. I reflect in my relationship with all life and becoming deeper connected to all, my thoughts, my being in existence in this now moment, my experiences. As I walk in this realm now choosing oneness, my experiences are loving, kind, and peaceful even when loneliness shows up, now I get to give thanks to loneliness but I choose oneness(connection) with all life. Being in my 40s now, I starting to realize the beauty of all my relationships of life itself.

    Thank you for all and all that you are.

    7Blessings,

    Alex Araya

  9. Vincent
    I know exactly what you are talking about. I have been single for 11 years now after my one and only serious relationship came to an end. Last year I chose to uproot my life to advance my career taking me away from my comfort zone, all of the people that I have known for years and move to a city where I only knew the people I worked with. It’s been during this time that I have experienced some of my greatest moments of loneliness. I have found strength, growth and learn so much about myself in those moments. And to be honest I’m truly never alone because my friends and family are only a phone call away. My loneliness is preparing for greater moments in my life, teaching me patience, how to be comfort being with me, listen to my spirit and setting my heart up love like I have never loved before. Loneliness is temporary and not permanent it all passes with time if you have the courage to own it, grow through it and not ruminate in it. I celebrate those moments they make me a better human being.💋

    1. Brodderick,

      Wow. Powerful response. Thank you. You are right, the loneliness is not permanent. I love what you said about having the courage to own it, grow through it, and not ruminate in it. So important. We have the power to do all three. Much love and peace to you. May you always feel a connection with the spirit.

      Vince

    1. Philip,

      Thank you as always for your response. I love you dearly. May you always feel the light and the spirit that lives inside of you.

      Vince

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