It is easy to say the first thing that comes to mind sometimes. I am certainly guilty of that. I often regret it after it has been said. I am continuing to learn what to keep to myself. I am also continuing to be aware that my thoughts and feelings do not necessarily need a reaction. As a matter of fact, I have found it beneficial to just be with my thoughts and feelings without reacting to them. There are 4 things I am finding it increasingly important to keep to myself and I would like to share them with you. I am by no means always successful at it however I am at a new stage of awareness regarding my words. For that I am grateful as I continue to personally work on what I write about each week.
- Unkind Words: My mother used to say, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” Great words to live by. One never knows what another is going through. Unkind words cause hurt. Unkind words are more of a reflection of the kind of person we are as opposed to the person we are speaking the unkind words about. Our words are mirror reflections of ourselves. What we speak is what we are. When we speak unkind words, we are unkind. Make a conscious effort to be kind and speak only words that uplift. Speak only words that are kind and bring people together versus causing division. We are witnessing first hand the negative implications of unkind words in the political world but unkind words also divide families and friends as well. Let’s choose kindness always and in all situations.
- Judgment Towards Others: Is it really our place to look at someone and cast judgment on them? Judgment is often cast on people for being fat, skinny, rich, poor, gay, straight, Buddhist, Christian, Muslim or anything that may be different from what one has decided is right. We are all on our own individual journey. Our role is to love and respect everyone’s journey even though it may be different from ours. Just because someone is on a different path than you, doesn’t mean they are lost.
- Assumptions: Assumptions are not based on fact. We have seen many assumptions made in the political world recently. People assuming that because it was posted on Facebook, it is truth. I have found it important to do my own research and not make assumptions based on someone else’s words. I have also made the assumption that someone is angry when in reality they are really just hurt. Assuming that a person speeding down the road is a bad driver when in fact they may have just gotten the news that their loved one had a heart attack, and is in critical condition, so they are rushing to the hospital in a panic. I have been guilty of making the assumption that someone is obese because they over-eat. That may be far from the truth. Make sure to know the facts before assuming anything about any person or circumstance.
- Negative Chatter: Unkind words, judgment toward others, and assumptions are all part of negative chatter however it involves so much more. It also includes negative self-talk. How many times have you berated yourself with negative chatter like, “My nose is too big”, “My boobs are too small”, or “I’ve made a mess of my life?” Michael Singer once said, “Your words have the power to make you feel better or worse about what is going on now, what has gone on in the past, or what might go on in the future.” We all will have those negative thoughts. We can stop them at the level of the thought and not give life to them with our words. “I dread going to work today”, “I am so sick of not having any money”, “I will never find my soul-mate”, “She makes me so mad”, and “I am tired of all this rain”, all implies negativity. Turn your words around today and watch what comes out of your mouth.
Speaking unkind words, judging others, making assumptions, and negative chatter all lead to hurt and discord. They also disrupt our inner peace. I have found it best practice to watch what comes out of my mouth and keep it to myself instead. Speak only kind words. Judge not that ye be not judged. Know the absolute facts about everything instead of making assumptions. And lastly, don’t allow the negative thoughts to turn into negative chatter. You will be a happier, healthier person as a result.
Until next week,
Practice love, kindness, and peace