What is True Love?
What exactly is true love? Is it open to interpretation by each individual or is there only one definite definition for true love? There are of course many different types of love such as friendship love, romantic love, agape love, Eros, and the love you have for your family. Love is something I find myself seeking out, falling into, and falling out of.
I love you.
Is it something I feel, say, or both? Do I feel it every time I say it or are they just routine words that roll off my tongue because I’ve been saying them to him/her for a while now?
Basic essential ideology for True Love to exist from my perspective.
- It is never our place to tell another what they can and cannot do.I am your lover, friend, companion, or whatever the relationship is. I am not your parent.
- True love is Unconditional.To me unconditional love is defined as full acceptance of another without trying to change ANYTHING about them.Unconditional love sets no expectations or limitations.
- No shoulda, coulda, woulda’s.A good rule of thumb is, Don’t you should on me and I won’t should on you. A little play on words but you get the point.
- True love is allowing the people in my life to be who they are. It is not important for me to understand them or give them my permission. We are each responsible for our own happiness and wellbeing. That will look different for each of us. Just love and allow even though they may be totally different from you in many ways.
- Good fun, meaningful, stimulating, intellectual conversation is vital. When the good sex is over, what’s left? The number one thing I am attracted to in another is intelligence. I find it not only sexy but an absolute necessity for me. Being able to look in one another’s eyes and have a great conversation over dinner is priceless and trumps everything else for me. I have often said, “the contents are much more important than the package.”
I refer back to the ideology above when I am dating someone or just in my relationships in general. Am I trying to change them? That is not true love. Am I allowing them to be exactly who they are and does who they are work for me? Do I feel the need to tell them what they can and cannot do? Am I enjoying the conversation?
I have learned that it is possible to have strong intense feelings for someone but not necessarily be in love with them. Examining your feelings and thoughts are essential for optimal happiness and for finding Mr. Right.
Having the courage to ask myself the important questions, then listen to the answers has been challenging for me in the past. As I have grown older, I am realizing the importance of thinking about my basic essential ideology for true love and my personal definition of true love. What is going to work for me? What it is that I want out of a relationship and am I getting it? If not, I must listen to the answers and move on.
What is your definition of true love? I would love to hear your thoughts.
Until next time,
Much love to you!
Vince
Having fallen in love and married the person to find out that it was only one sided has led to a lot of bitterness and dislike for each other. Added to this is the birth of 2 wonderful kids (twins), the absence of sex, trust, violence and ocd and you have a perfect cocktail for a divorce.
I fell in love with my wife but that wasn’t reciprocated by her. I fell in love with my kids and that has been reciprocated. I know the meaning of love when it refers to parental love but I don’t know the meaning of love when it refers to love with a partner.
Very thought provoking, as usual Vince.
Thank you
Yuri
Yuri,
Thanks as always for responding and taking the time to read my work. I like how you point that there is a difference between parental love and the love of a partner. I have definitely come to realize that self-love is the most important of them all. Having said that, we are humans who still on some level crave that romantic love connection.
It is wonderful that you have your children as a source of love.
Thanks again for responding so faithfully.
Much love to you,
Vince
Thought provoking article.And I agree with your point of view
Thank you so much for taking the time to read the article and respond. I look forward to continued dialogue.
Vince
I agree with you in certain areas. But, what about trust and fidelity? This sounds like an open relationship, where everyone do what they want. Please address this point.
Love is indeed unconditional, does this mean if I cheat on my partner, it’s ok?
Cheers
Karl
Karl,
Thanks so much for your feedback. It is always appreciated. In my opinion, there is no right or wrong way that relationships should be. It is completely up to what works for the two people in the relationship. Having a conversation about that is what helps build the trust you mentioned. I have a problem when couples sneak around behind each others back and pretend to be monogamous. I would rather have a truthful partner who is open as opposed to one who is sneaking around and hiding secrets. Secrets lead to sickness. I am not advocating for open or closed relationships. I am advocating for communicating with honesty and transparency. Hiding nothing. If an open relationship works for a couple, awesome. If monogamy works for a couple, awesome. You ask the question, “If I cheat on my partner, is it okay?” It is most certainly ok if the two of you have agreed that its okay. It is not okay if you are being deceptive about the whole thing. True love is about honesty and trust. Much love to you and I look forward to more feedback from you.
Vince
I agree with everything you stated here. Thank you for sharing your words.
Norris,
Thank you so much for the feedback. I appreciate you.
Vince