It is what it is



The adoption of the philosophy “It is what it is” brings me deeper peace and happiness when I am able to put it into practice. It is all about accepting what is even if it is not what I think it should be. Tough at times indeed. Most of us are very familiar with the statement, “It is what it is” but do we truly accept that?

It is the key to living a positive present life.

It you want to be happier, accept life as it is and let go of the need to be in control. 

I have come to accept that I am not in control. Perhaps wanting to always change things is a means of wanting control. I think I often want things my way. I often want people to see things as I do and believe as I believe. I find myself at times wanting things to be different in my government, my home, my job, my family, and my relationships.

I am finding that every time I am able to release the need to be in control, it makes my life so much easier. I am only responsible for one person in this life and that is yours truly.

Where am I putting my energy? Constantly wishing things could be different is a waste of energy. It is perfectly okay to want things to be different in the future but in this present moment accept things as they are. To fully live in the now one must accept the now exactly as it is.Wishing it could be something else takes away from the present beauty.

It is about accepting people and situations exactly as they present themselves without judgment and without feeling the need to change anything. What a load off of your heart and mind when you are able to do this.

I recently allowed myself to suffer during the holiday season because I spent so much time focusing on what I thought the holidays should look like. I thought it should be a time for family to be together in the spirit of love and thanksgiving. Because that did not happen, I suffered. My expectations led to suffering.

Again, for me it is about learning to accept what is.

It was the same with my mother’s tragic sudden death. I went for several years suffering and wishing I could change it all and have her back. Questioning why she had to leave. Wanting to change so many things surrounding that whole situation. Once I was able to accept what was, I found peace with her death. We do not need to understand. Just accept what is and know that a higher power is in control. Not us.

I also allowed myself to suffer for many years after the breakup of my 18-year relationship to the love of my life. Unnecessary suffering. All things in our life unfold exactly as they are supposed to at exactly the perfect time whether we understand it or not. Being able to accept this alleviates a lot of suffering and allows for a deeper peace.

Life doesn’t always give us what we want no matter how positive we think and no matter how we think it should be.

I challenge you today to let go. Let go of wanting to change people and situations. Just accept what is in this present moment and express gratitude for it.

Much love,


14 Replies to “It is what it is”

  1. This is such an affirmation of confirmation and revelation in retrospect to a life situation I am presently experiencing.  I promise I am learning to not just apply, but live by the motto “It is what it is” as I relinquish my perception of perfection in situations that have become a burden of control.  I pray that you continue to be a beacon of light and hope to all those you encounter,  by whatever means that should be.  Love you dearly,  OJ Walker ❤

    Sent from my Sprint Samsung Galaxy Note8.

    1. OJ,

      Thank you so much for the response. We are all learning to live by the motto “It is what it is.” It is a learning process. I am grateful to have your feedback and support and I too love you dearly.


  2. Vince,
    No sleep tonight as I’m terribly worried about my beloved father-in-law and the overwhelming uncertainty in the next several days. It’s still looking rather bleak. I really needed to read some positive thoughts that are geared toward our current situation so thank you so much. I’m his medical POA so I’m hoping and praying to stay focused and gain some peace on decisions moving forward. He truly has been my father since I was 18 years old. Much love to you and thanks again for your insight.

    1. Kathy,

      I am so sorry to hear about your dear father-in-law. Just know that God is ultimately in control and he will also take care of you during this challenging time of decisions and the overwhelming feeling of uncertainty. I will be praying for you and the whole family.

      Much love,

  3. Thought provoking, as usual.
    You know Vince, I don’t accept ‘it is what it is’, however I do accept ‘go with the flow’. There’s a big difference. ‘It is what it is’ can be, using American terminology, The President is correct and therefore we have no say in doing anything with his policies. Whereas ‘Go with the flow’ to me means, follow with the majority as long as it’s acceptable to me or make a change that is me.
    When my late mother was in hospital and I was alone with her as my sister had gone to pick up her kids from school etc, I had the hardest decision in my life to make. The Consultant came to me and said that they had to operate immediately. I said, can we wait for an hour until my sister returns, she being the elder of us two, and was told that mum might be dead in an hour, I could have just said ‘it is what it is’ and just signed the papers. However, I went with ‘go with the flow’ and prior to signing, I told the Consultant my mother last wish which was “If I’m going to wake up as a half woman (meaning paralysed or incapacitated) I don’t want to wake up’. This was my ‘go with the flow’. It’s what she wanted, it’s what I wanted for her and it’s what was told to the Consultant. She pulled through the operation but then died from other complications indirectly due to this operation.
    Letting go is very difficult and you do feel much lighter and freer when you do it. However sometimes you find that the control you’ve let go off is being misused and therefore you need to retake control and assess matters and situations. You always have to do what you believe is best for you and for those close to you. You are number one and if you are a couple then you both have to work in unison for your best achievements and not go in different directions without consulting the other party involved.
    You mention about the Holidays and Thanksgiving etc. I too feel lonely and alone, However, I go and drop in to loved ones, unannounced when I know that there is a group that I get on with. We call that ‘gate crashing’ over here. Usually i do it on Christmas Day or Boxing day or New Years day but after lunch so as not to put people out. However, in a year or two’s time, I plan on recommencing a tradition that my mother started which was every New Years day it was lunch at 4pm at her house, for all her loved ones. No invites needed.
    We all go through unnecessary suffering thinking of what might have been. Always remember, The Titanic sank. There is absolutely no point in thinking about the fact that you may have left a drawer open or a door ajar. It sank. Period. It’s history !
    In closing, always remember, Mrs Shifflet may be gone in body but not in soul. She is always with you and as long as someone on this planet remembers her, then she lives. Talk to her. Ask her advice, laugh and cry with her, BUT make sure you keep the lights closed at night when you have company so she can’t see your shenanigans 🙂
    Sorry, I’ve written too much as usual.
    Look forward to the next episode of the Shifflett Chronicles.

    1. Yuri,

      As always, I love love love your writing and perspective. I like that you talk about “going with the flow.” I think ultimately that is what I was trying to convey in the article. Relax, let things go and go with the flow. It doesn’t mean you support everything or that you are validating everything. It simply means that you recognize you are not in control and that everything has a purpose.

      Much love to you,

  4. Really enjoyed this.  For the past few months I have been learning to let go and accept things for what they are.  This hit home for me today.  Thank you.  

  5. I needed This Bad, After my Break up with tell People I thought LOVE me as much as I Love him, I finally let Go in November, My Life started changing that same week, And Now I’m Happier then I have been in 3 years..This insight just confirmed I did the right thing for me and Wishing him the Best, just not with Me..Thanks my friend I appreciate you dearly..😉👊

    1. Terre,

      Breakups can be the most difficult thing to accept. It can take a while to let go and that is fine. Sometimes we need to go through the process to fully understand it.
      I am grateful for your love and support.


  6. Love this Vince! Accepting what is, leads to inner peace. We can’t change many of our circumstances so accepting and walking threw them brings peace and light. Who knows if you don’t resist you may actually be blessed by the very thing you are fighting. Love you friend! Keep up your good work! Blessing others!

    1. Pam,

      I love that you mention the importance of not resisting. Accepting things as blessings instead of fighting them and trying to understand them. Thanks as always for your love and perspective.

      Much love to you,

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