I think we have all heard the saying, “Rock Bottom.” Rock Bottom implies that there is nothing but rocks on the bottom. No green grass. No beautiful flowers. No amazing landscape. Just hard rocks. Ever feel like you’re at the end or on the bottom? Ever feel as if you’re all tangled up in your emotions and can’t see your way clear? These have become all too familiar feelings and thoughts for me personally. By definition, the bottom is the lowest or deepest part of anything.
Is it necessary to hit rock bottom? Is it necessary to feel like you’re at the end? I think there are certainly lessons to be learned on the bottom but also important to realize that the rocks on the bottom can be beautiful also. Just as beautiful as the green grass, beautiful flowers, and amazing landscape.
Way too frequently in my life I am raw with pain on the inside. Yes, I often write about and promote positivity. However, I must admit at times it is a struggle for me to stay off the bottom. My ability to move upward toward the surface and away from the bottom is met with fear and meaningless mental chatter.
I allow my thoughts to get caught up in a loop. Repetitive cycle of negative thinking and emotions. How do I untangle myself from the emotional mess and muster up the energy to swim to the surface?
I have concluded that my unresolved feelings and continuous unhealthy choices are what keeps navigating me to the bottom or to feeling like I am at the end. Even with this knowledge, I still find myself on the bottom. Laying on the rocks. Not exactly comfortable.
The choice to keep going back to that unhealthy relationship. The choice to keep hanging out around negative energy. The choice to continue in an unhealthy work environment. The choice to continue to eat unhealthy and not exercise. All unhealthy choices that affect my mental state and lead me back to the bottom. These unhealthy choices coupled with unresolved feelings such as fear, worry, and hurt keep bringing me to the bottom. They keep me tangled up in this emotional mess.
The real question is, have I truly dealt with those unresolved feelings? Do I continue to make unhealthy choices? The answer is yes. So, knowing that those unresolved feelings and unhealthy choices are the reason I end up on the bottom is not enough. I must take consistent action.
There are many ways to deal with the unresolved feelings:
- Energy Work
- Meditation
- Counseling
- Forgiveness
- Gratitude
- Compassion
Find what works for you. It could be a combination of the above.
As far as unhealthy choices, it just requires changing and making better consistent choices. Choices to be healthier physically, mentally, and spiritually. I think what derails me and causes me to end up back on the bottom is the lack of consistency with my choices and behaviors.
Sounds like an easy fix, huh? It takes work, awareness, consistent action, and commitment.
Last minute thoughts:
Remember that the bottom is an opportunity to look up at the top. The end is really just the beginning. When the second hand on the clock makes it to the 12, it is the end of one minute but the start of a brand new minute. Think about why you keep ending up on the bottom and realize you have the power to change it all.
Be encouraged on this beautiful week and stay above the surface. Reach for the sky. Reach for what it is that you long for and desire. You were not intended to stay on the bottom. We all get there but we do not have to stay there. Learn that lesson and swim like hell back to the top where you belong.
Much love,
Vince
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Vince is a Critical Care Registered Nurse, Published Writer, and Columnist living and loving in Atlanta, Georgia. Enter your email address to receive his weekly Educational, Inspirational, and Motivational 5-minute reads straight to your inbox. You can also follow him on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and Twitter. Your support and feedback are deeply appreciated.
You raise some very interesting points Vince.
Obviously I can only comment about myself, but hitting ‘Rock Bottom’ has been a very common occurrence in my life.
I had/have too many resentments and negative people in my my life who have dragged me down on a regular basis.
1) Why Me ? –
I was born into a upper middle class family. Due to politics in the country of my birth, we lost an absolute fortune when the country went ‘dry’
1 minuite after 10 x 20 foot containers laden with alcohol docked. Similarly, we had a photographic safari company that was attacked by bandits, fortunately no one got killed, and that led to it’s closing. Why us/me ? If all had gone to plan, then I would have been very wealthy in my own right, where as now, like most people, I’m trying to make ends meet.
I have often thought of ending my life and really think that apart from my kids and sister, no one would actually miss me. But if I do then THEY win and I lose. I’m stubborn and won’t let THEM win ! That’s my motivation.
2) Negative people –
I seem to attract negative people. Strangers come into my shop and tell me their problems and I’m also in a very negative relationship.
Listening to you and taking on board your comments over that past years has finally given me the courage I need to get rid of the negativity surrounding me. I can actually see a future through the cloud that’s been engulfing me. I started the first set of reforms in April which I hope will happen either this week or next. This should enable me to move onto stage two of the reform and probably next year will be stage three which should be the final stage in the reforming my circle of friends, family and life.
3) When I was younger, I wanted to do everything perfectly, have matching glasses and crockery, invite XYZ not forgetting W because he/she might get offended etc. After all I have gone through, I, one day realised that none of it actually mattered. When was I last invited to XYZ, let alone W’s home ? Did they actually care one iota about me ? The realisation was a shock and a slap in my face, no they only cared about themselves and I was just someone to laugh and chat with but didn’t actually matter in their lives. I might as well have been a table light in the corner of a room, decorative, practical, useful but not a necessity except to be used when needed.
3) To say that the above three sets of reform/transformation/changes doesn’t scare me would be a lie. I am worried, not because I can’t do it, or worried what people would think, or any other consequence, but of the fear of ending up financially poor. On the other hand, I should be happier and hopefully start blooming again in place of becoming a shrivelled old rose bud that I’m becoming. I should be able to get my confidence and get my life back on track to happier days and hopefully get to where I should be. And most importantly, get off FaceBook !
I believe that everything happens for a reason. We may not understand it at the time, but we will at some point. We learn more from the bad events than the good ie what did you learn from a wedding as compared to a car crash ? or if a business is succeeding you spend more and make aren’t too bothered if there’s ore than the 10% wastage, however if a business is failing, you are careful how you spend the money and you make sure there is no wastage. We have to learn from our mistakes.
‘Rock Bottom’ should, in theory only happen once in life. However there are many levels to the our sea beds ie a bay where you can virtually sit on the sea bed without drowning or the Pacific, where the Titanic sank.
In conclusion, if you’re unhappy somewhere, be it your home, work, social circle, relationship, etc, move. Perhaps say Georgia isn’t for you but neighbouring South Carolina is better for you. You don’t know if you don’t try.
I’ve waffled enough.
Thank you Vince and I look for ward to the next episode of the SC.
All the best
Yuri
Yuri,
Wow, what a story. I saw myself in your story so many times. I like how you end it by saying basically if you’re unhappy, change things. Your analogy of the many levels of our sea beds. I have truly spent time on each level but way too much time on the bottom. I really appreciate the feedback, love, and support.
Much love
Keep swimming,
Vince
Well said! Love, Love, Love!
Ronnie,
Thanks so much for your response. I think we all go through tough times in life. I seem to have a lot of experience with the ebb of life and want to go more in the flow of life. I appreciate your love.
Vince
I ove your writings. Virtual hugs My Friend
Shaun,
I love you and appreciate you.
Vince
Beautiful and just what I needed today.
Jennifer,
Much love to you as we all support each other on this journey.
Vince