Posted on by Vince Shifflett

Am I Who I Say I Am?

 

fullsizeoutput_1aeeAm I who I say I am? Do my actions line up with my words? Do I always fully embody what I write about?

As a writer, I felt it necessary to ponder this question for myself. This pondering led to a deeper reflection of the question, Am I who I say I am?

Is my inner self a true reflection of my outer self?

There are times when I feel my true spirit is completely overshadowed by my human behavior. I find myself writing and sharing knowledge but do I always use that knowledge? There are times I actually feel fake. Not intentional at all. My intention is to be what I write about. I must admit, it doesn’t always happen.

  • I say I am Love. Do my actions always reflect love towards ALL beings?
  • I say I am Peace. Am I peaceful? Do I promote peace at work, home, in my family, and in my everyday life or do I contribute to the discord and division?
  • I say I am inclusive. Do I really see EVERYONE as equal?
  • I say I am kind. Do I practice kindness with EVERYONE I see and in EVERY situation?
  • I say I believe. Do I let go of the fear and just trust?
  • I say I am happy and fulfilled but am I really?

There seems to be a purposeful intention in today’s news and social media environment to mislead. It has become difficult to distinguish what is really truth and what is misleading information. Are people who they say they are? A lot of mistruths have surfaced recently in the news, in politics, and on social media. Everyone seems to be looking at others instead of looking at themselves.

In my writing I have more recently began to share more personal things about my life including my sexual orientation. All in an effort to be who I say I am. For most of my younger adult life and childhood life, I wasn’t who I said I was. I pretended to be something different out of fear. I pretended to be something different so I would be accepted. I pretended to be something different so I wouldn’t “go to hell” as the church taught me that being gay was an abomination and sin. I was afraid to say who I really was. It seemed more acceptable to pretend and be dishonest.

This one thing I do know. My actions never line up with my words 100% of the time. Does anyone’s?

Perhaps the best I can do is to be more mindful of what I say, in an effort to do and be just that. I believe I have the right intentions but there are challenges along the way that I allow to veer me away from those intentions.  It is then that I become something different from what I write about. It is my intention to be love. It is my intention to be peace. It is always my intention to be inclusive and kind.

When I write, I am actually writing to myself realizing that the things I write about are things I need more work on. They are things I need to be more conscious of. I am a work in progress and would never pretend to be anything else.

The mission of what I say through my writing is: To Create Change and Stimulate Self-Healing. Key word here is self. I have been incredibly blessed that it has also created change and stimulated self-healing in many of you. For that I am deeply grateful.

Writing actually increases my awareness of what I say. I will continue to try and be what I say. It is my desire to be the same person at home, at church, at work, around family, friends, and in my everyday life. I recognize that to be anything else is a bit hypocritical.

Are you who you say you are?  Are you exactly who you portray yourself to be on social media? It is not so much about the words as the action. We’ve all heard the saying, “Actions speak louder than words.” My pastor used to say, “Some people will worship God in church and then go home and kick the cat.” Are you “praising Jesus” on Sunday morning and arguing with your family on Monday?

I will leave you with a Japanese quote.

Many people have 3 faces. The first face you show the world. The second face you show your close friends and family. The third face you never show anyone. It is the truest reflection of who you are.

Until next week,

Be the same person.  At home. At church. At work. Out with friends. It’s called authenticity. That’s my true deep desire and intention. I will continue to work on that in my personal life as I am a continual work in progress. Grateful to be in a new awareness.

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Hi, I’m Vince. I am a Critical Care Registered Nurse and Author. Welcome to my site. On this site you will be provided inspirational, educational, and motivational articles. It is my mission to have this information help you achieve Optimal Health which includes Physical Health, Spiritual Health, and Mental Health.

15 Replies to “Am I Who I Say I Am?”

  1. Hi Vince. I think it is always a struggle in life to be who you say you are out of fear of what others are going to think about you, as you say. That is one of the greatest challenges we have as life would pointless if we pretend to be someone we’re really not. That’s where we should question what is really important in our lives: to please others or to please ourselves. I identify with your story in many ways and, as you point it out, find myself nowadays being a work in progress as I try to come out of my shell and be who I really want and need to be so I can feel fulfilled and be honest to myself. It is an everyday fight and way to shape up myself in every way possible, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Thanks for opening up and allowing others to find your experience useful and apply it to our own lives. We need to find significance in our lives and discover what should be really important, and not merely live our lives as we are programmed to do nowadays, like robots.

    Best!

  2. Hello Vince ,To meet you is to meet an authentic person. Thank you for sharing you so that we all can be brave enough to face ourselves. I will continue to strive to be my authentic self everywhere I am , traveling in the store, even in my car when no one else is around.

  4. I identify a lot with your article why it is a moment in which I find myself in my church, when the topic of gay people is touched I feel they do not agree with the lifestyle and preference I think I will be honest and say I’m gay. Thanks!

  5. Though well intentioned, my words and actions don’t always sync. However, I am mindful and when I quickly noticed that My words and actions are out of alignment, I say out loud Benjamin sync up. Consciousness is key!

  7. Fascinating reading as usual Vince.
    The Japanese saying is very true. It reminds me of an old Hollywood movie called “The 3 Faces of Eve”. I don;t remember who starred in the title role but, if memory serves me right, it portrayed a young beautiful woman in the 1950’s who was basically a perfect housewife without a brain of her own. She was there for her husband’s command. She then had a car accident and her character changed from being a docile perfect goody goody house wife to an extrovert woman who was out parting every night, hooking up with different men, drinking etc etc. Obviously her marriage broke up and, I can’t remember how but she became a woman with a brain but who was also a good all round wife. It’s worth watching if you haven’t seen it before.
    As to this blog, in my case :-
    Yes I try to radiate love, especially to those I do love and I care about.
    Yes I am peaceful, perhaps too laid back, but I always try to keep the status quo where I can.
    Inclusive/equal, yes I try to treat everyone the same although if someone falls down and cuts or brake themselves in front of me I freeze, mainly out of ignorance as I don’t know what to do. However I have mixed with all echelons of society and have managed to treat them the same, sometimes to my detriment.
    Kind, yes, I try to be as kind as I possibly can to everyone, but sadly some people use that to their benefit.
    Happy/fulfilled. No I am not happy and am not fulfilled in both my home life nor my work life, so I need to make changes to amend these.
    Believe, I have trusted too many close people in the past who have ended up misguiding me or using me. I now have a small group that I call ‘The 3 Wise Men’ who are the only ones that I completely trust as they have absolutely nothing to gain from me and hence don’t need to misguide me. These 3 men are absolutely great guys and I would recommend anyone who is in dire mental or emotional problems to find his or her 3 wise men/women to help them along the path to fulfillment.
    Who am I ? The British have a great saying, “I am as it says on the tin”.
    However saying that, as in the Japanese saying, there are 3 faces to Yuri.
    (1) The happy, funny, confident, hardworking Yuri that helps everyone and anyone.
    (2) The real Yuri who is rather shy and has lost his confidence but is trying to claw it back but is most of number one as well.
    (3) The nasty Yuri who, being a Sagittarian, after being beaten and stepped on for a long while, strikes back with a vengeance and hurts you most when your’re not expecting it. I don’t like like the 3rd version of Yuri at all, but sometimes, needs must.
    I look forward to reading the next episode of the SC, Vince.
    Yuri x

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