For every choice we make, there is a consequence. Some choices lead to amazing outcomes and other choices lead to suffering and pain. For better or worse, each choice is the unavoidable consequence of its predecessor.
Where I am right now in this moment, is a result of choices I’ve made.
No need to look at or blame anyone else. It is the choices I, and I alone have made, that have brought me to this moment.
Are we influenced by others? Yes. Do we have a choice about how we will react? Yes. Are we in control of our own happiness? Yes.
So, where does true happiness lie?
It lies in our choices. We get the beautiful freedom to decide how or if we will be influenced by others in such a way that it steals our happiness. We create our own experiences based on our choices.
This has been a difficult reality for me to truly grasp and make it my truth. I have found myself being heavily influenced by others to the degree that I’ve allowed it to steal my joy. I made the choice to be influenced and the consequence was sadness and depression.
The same is true for my personal behavior and actions. I have not always made the choice that was best for my personal, spiritual, and mental growth. As a result, the consequence has been getting stuck in my emotions and spiraling downward into a depression. My choice to sabotage relationships has led to me being single at 56 years old. Not exactly what I wanted but it is because of choices I made.
At times, I feel like Jonah with the story of him in the Bible. He did not listen to God (Spirit) and he ended up in the belly of the whale. How many times have I chosen the wrong path and ended up in the belly of the whale? Far too many to count.
It is easy to say, “I’ve been hurt by family.” “He cheated on me and hurt me.” The truth is, I made the choice to be hurt. That choice led to painful consequences. There seems to be a tendency to want to blame someone for where we are. I am guilty of that. I am learning more and more to look inward. I am becoming more aware of the need to embrace where I am.
I recently had a situation with my family. One of many with this being the latest. When I was explaining the situation to my best friend, his response was, “okay, what role did you play in this?” “What could you have done differently?” It’s a challenge to look at one’s self.
Every day we are faced with thousands of choices, make hundreds of decisions, and either enjoy or suffer the consequences.
What choices have you made? Has the consequence been happiness and fulfillment or pain and suffering? There’s a lesson in it all. It is all part of our life’s journey. We learn from all our choices. Or at least that’s the hope. I seem to be a little hard headed and as a consequence have repeated the same lesson over and over.
It is time to make better decisions. Decisions that add growth to my life. Decisions that remind me of my truth. Decisions that move me in the direction of peace and happiness as my consequence.
Pause and make better decisions moving forward. Follow your Inner guidance (Spirit) and don’t end up in the belly of the whale. Make sure your choices lead to enjoyable consequences and not suffering.
Deeply grateful for each of you and I look forward to you sharing.
Much love,
Vince
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Hi, I’m Vince. I am a Critical Care Registered Nurse and Author. Welcome to my site. On this site you will be provided inspirational, educational, and motivational articles. It is my mission to have this information help you achieve Optimal Health which includes Physical Health, Spiritual Health, and Mental Health. My ultimate goal is to create change and stimulate self-healing.
You are certainly correct that I have created my current situation by my choices. It is not easy to reach out, but I need to do it consistently and pay attention when the spirit nudges.
Nancy,
Nice to hear from you. We all could benefit from reminding each other of the truth.
Thanks for your feedback.
Vince
Very interesting and another thought provocating blog Vince.
Indeed why do we blame others for our choices ?
We are all born as a blank canvas and we learn from others around us. Yes we do make wrong decisions and they have major consequences in our lives, but we have to build on our mistakes and our errors and not just sweep them under the carpet.
My story is in a way similar to yours. Due to political reasons, we had to come to England. Dad stayed behind in the Sudan so as to salvage whatever he could. So my Mother, Sister and I flew over to London and set up home. I was 7. I found it very hard at first as I couldn’t speak or understand English, so my mother took advice and decided to put me into boarding school so I was forced to speak, read and write English. However, the Headmaster of the school said that it would be unfair on me and on the other boys if he accepted me as I would probably drown in trying to learn. He suggested that I was put into my local state school for a few years and then he would have no problem in accepting me in his school. After 2 years of State school, I had managed to catch up and surpass the other English students. That’s why I’m a stickler to proper English !
My father being in the Sudan, we were a one parent family. Fortunately, Dad’s brother and Mum’s brother-in-law were always around and they became my role models.
Cutting a long story short, I got a very well paid job in London and stuck to it for a number of years. I hated the job but I loved the money. My decision.
Meanwhile I got married and set up home with my wife.
Whilst she was pregnant, the company closed down and I was made redundant. Tough times lay ahead but the interest on the money that I had saved up plus a lot of cut backs and got us through.
I got a job as a mini cab driver or Uber type driver. Hated it but it put bread on the table. When my health failed, I stopped and got my current business. This is going to be history very soon and I will be moving on.
Yes we make good and bad decisions in life but we have to build and learn from our mistakes.
You make a point that you are alone at 56, well I’m alone at 60 and married. My kids are in Uni and I see then sometimes over the weekends, so during the evenings I go home and I am alone with my wife but I am alone in my little Facebook world, a place I enjoy and feel part of.
Being alone is a frame of mind. You can fill your life with whatever you want or just leave it void or everything or anything. Being with someone doesn’t mean that your life is being fulfilled. Au contraire, she has held me back and destroyed everything that I have tried to build including my business, but the sad part is that in her world, the sun rotates around her. She is the most important, the most capable, the most clever, the most everything person on the planet. Perhaps she is, although I don’t think she is any of those things.
Anyway, as usual, I’m going off at a tangent.
Just build on what you have learnt in life and stop looking for your perfect partner, He doesn’t exist. Just be your wonderful self, stop over thinking and the jigsaw will fall into place when you least expect it. Your best friend asked you the right question, ” what would you have done differently ?”. The titanic sank, stop worrying if you left the bathroom door open or the jacket on the chair. It’s gone. It’s history. Move on my dear friend.
Thank you
Yuri x
Yuri,
Oh my, I don’t know where to start. As always, I was a moved by your story and your advice for me using the analogy of the titanic. I was in tears because I know its the truth.
Your expressive, creative style of writing has a way of leaving me to ponder and reflect. I thank you.
Much love to you,
Vince
Great writing, as always, its a inspirational and rewarding. Thank you 4
Thank you Redg. Grateful for your love and support.
Vince
Hi Vince , this was my first time reading one of your writings. This was truly amazing and I so needed to hear it ! Thanks for being so transparent !
Cadon,
I am deeply grateful to have you as a new reader of my work. I look forward to more of your feedback as we grow together.
Vince
Love you vincee
Love you too Forrest
Hi Vince Love your articles makes you think I ways finding my self saying thats right that’s me last week at church the sermon was about Jonah 😁HAPPY HOLIDAYS
Sabrina,
You are still reading my work. So grateful for your feedback.
Be blessed,
Vince
Vince, you have an unerring ability to zero in on our worst faults and weaknesses. And yes, I agree with you on being our own worst enemy, as the old expression goes. I spent far too much vital time lamenting over my relationship with my parents which as it turns out wasn’t so bad after all, but this comes after many years of
perspective. Our dysfunction wasn’t entirely my fault but I might better have spent the time looking at my own
flaws and seeking to ameliorate them rather than complaining about my dad. I thought he was too strict and
too rigid but now realize his was the only and best guidance I had and I would’ve done better had I made more of an effort to follow it. This all relates back to the need for validation you wrote about last month, a column I appreciated greatly, btw.
best regards, John V
John,
My ability to zero in on faults and weaknesses is both good and bad for me. My writing comes from zeroing in on my own journey and how I can make it better. I do however, find myself at times zeroing in TOO much on the weaknesses and not enough on my strengths.
I am really grateful for you, your love, and your feedback. It means a great deal to me.
Vince
Great article and can relate in so many areas! Keep pushing forward- your greatest days are ahead!
Love you Ness
As usual words that result in self realization and self reflection. Thank you!
Thank you Oscar.
Really appreciate the love
Vince
Hi VInce hope you are doing well. Miss you playing your piano On Facebook. Are you living in Atlanta? Love your story.