Options: No Need To Feel Stuck

Ever feel stuck? Stuck in your job. Stuck in your relationship? Stuck in the place you live? Just plain stuck with no options? I think we have all felt that way before however the truth is you have options. You can choose to quit your job. You can choose to leave that toxic or stale relationship. You can choose a new place to live.  You can go, be, and do whatever you choose to.

The options are limitless.

Options are definitely one of life’s beauties. 

There are consequences that come with every option you choose. If you choose to stay “stuck” in your current situation, the consequence is lack of peace and growth. So why do you stay? Why do you not tap into your limitless options?

You also have options emotionally. You can choose happiness or you can choose sadness. I am learning however that we all do not have the same skill set to deal with life’s challenges. Even though the options are there, fear leaves us feeling “stuck.”

It seems I struggle quite a bit with tapping into my options despite the fact that I know they are there. Again, we all have them. I choose daily. I choose what I am going to eat. What I am going to watch on TV. Who I am going to vote for. I choose what I am going to wear that day. I choose my words. I choose my friends.

Am I making choices based on what someone else thinks I should choose or am I looking at all my options and choosing what resonates with me?

Am I staying in a relationship because someone has taught me it is the right thing to do? Am I staying in a relationship because I don’t want to hurt someone despite the fact that I am hurting myself? Am I making someone else a priority while they are making me an option?

Am I staying on the job out of fear. Fear of losing health insurance. Fear of losing income. Fear of not being able to find something else. Just plain fear. Am I staying on the job despite the fact that I am miserable?

Am I continuing to live in the same place because it is comfortable? Am I continuing to remain in the same place despite the deep urge and feeling that I should be somewhere else? Am I staying out of fear? Do I not see all the beautiful options?

Looking back at my own life, I have allowed fear to keep me stuck in many areas of my life. I am deeply grateful to be aware of this as awareness is the first step to change. I have also allowed deep indoctrination from my upbringing to keep me stuck. Organizations (including churches), government, and other people use fear as a tactic to keep us feeling “stuck.”

Release the fear today and step forward into your happiness. https://vinceshifflett.com/2016/02/14/letting-go-february-14-2016/ It is about you. It is perfectly fine to make it all about you. It is your life and you only get one chance to live it. Choose from the many options you have. Choose what is best for you. This is easily done by simply listening to you inner voice. It will NEVER lead you astray.

Step out of the quick sand and march forward knowing that God (Universe, Spirit) has your back.

Are you feeling stuck with no options?

I look forward to your feedback and hope you will  be inspired to enter your email address to receive my monthly thought provoking articles straight to your inbox. Your support is deeply appreciated.

Much love,



10_previewVince is a Critical Care Registered Nurse, Author, and Columnist living and loving in Atlanta, Georgia. Enter your email address to receive his monthly educational, inspirational, and thought provoking work straight to your inbox. You can also follow him on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and Twitter. Your support is deeply appreciated.


Why Am I Here: Your Why Matters


Why am I here? What is my Purpose? Purpose is defined as the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.

Why was I created? Why do I exist?

Simply put, to know your purpose means to know 3 things: 

  1. What you are
  2. Who you are
  3. Why you are

We all want a sense of meaning and purpose in our lives. The path to purpose can seem challenging to find. There are literally thousands of paths we can choose from on this roadmap of life. Each one bringing a different lesson.

How do we find our Purpose?

I have come to realize that purpose can be found through inquiry. Inquiry can connect you to the truth and ultimately to the divine. Let your questions be guided by the what, who, and why of your life. Inquiry offers us an open door to a spiritually aligned life. For me, many times I have not asked the questions because I did not want to hear the answers. The answers may not be what you want to hear. There is a tendency to just follow the same path that our friends or family members are on and never inquire about our own personal path to purpose. We all have a unique purpose.

Your Why Matters.

Take a moment to pause now and ask yourself:

  • What is my Purpose?
  • Am I walking in my purpose now?
  • Who am I?
  • Why am I Here?

Unearth the answers to these questions for more excitement, inspiration, and discovery. Discover your true purpose in 2020 and do not allow fear to keep you from moving in the direction of that purpose. I have spent the last several years asking myself these questions and am finally headed in the direction of my purpose. I finally feel I have a better understanding of why I am here.

No one’s life purpose gets fulfilled alone. Together we all learn and grow from each other.

So, why are you here?

I look forward to your response and as always remain deeply grateful for each of you and the beautiful beings that you are.

Until next time,




Hi, I’m Vince. I am a Critical Care Registered Nurse and Author. Welcome to my site. On this site you will be provided inspirational, educational, and motivational articles. It is my mission to have this information help you achieve Optimal Health which includes Physical Health, Spiritual Health, and Mental Health. My ultimate goal is to create change and stimulate self-healing.


My Personal Choices and Consequences


For every choice we make, there is a consequence. Some choices lead to amazing outcomes and other choices lead to suffering and pain. For better or worse, each choice is the unavoidable consequence of its predecessor.

Where I am right now in this moment, is a result of choices I’ve made.

No need to look at or blame anyone else. It is the choices I, and I alone have made, that have brought me to this moment.

Are we influenced by others? Yes. Do we have a choice about how we will react? Yes. Are we in control of our own happiness? Yes.

So, where does true happiness lie?

It lies in our choices. We get the beautiful freedom to decide how or if we will be influenced by others in such a way that it steals our happiness. We create our own experiences based on our choices.

This has been a difficult reality for me to truly grasp and make it my truth. I have found myself being heavily influenced by others to the degree that I’ve allowed it to steal my joy. I made the choice to be influenced and the consequence was sadness and depression.

The same is true for my personal behavior and actions. I have not always made the choice that was best for my personal, spiritual, and mental growth. As a result, the consequence has been getting stuck in my emotions and spiraling downward into a depression. My choice to sabotage relationships has led to me being single at 56 years old. Not exactly what I wanted but it is because of choices I made.

At times, I feel like Jonah with the story of him in the Bible. He did not listen to God (Spirit) and he ended up in the belly of the whale. How many times have I chosen the wrong path and ended up in the belly of the whale? Far too many to count.

It is easy to say, “I’ve been hurt by family.” “He cheated on me and hurt me.” The truth is, I made the choice to be hurt. That choice led to painful consequences. There seems to be a tendency to want to blame someone for where we are. I am guilty of that. I am learning more and more to look inward. I am becoming more aware of the need to embrace where I am.

I recently had a situation with my family. One of many with this being the latest. When I was explaining the situation to my best friend, his response was, “okay, what role did you play in this?” “What could you have done differently?” It’s a challenge to look at one’s self.

Every day we are faced with thousands of choices, make hundreds of decisions, and either enjoy or suffer the consequences.

What choices have you made? Has the consequence been happiness and fulfillment or pain and suffering? There’s a lesson in it all. It is all part of our life’s journey. We learn from all our choices. Or at least that’s the hope. I seem to be a little hard headed and as a consequence have repeated the same lesson over and over.

It is time to make better decisions. Decisions that add growth to my life. Decisions that remind me of my truth. Decisions that move me in the direction of peace and happiness as my consequence.

Pause and make better decisions moving forward. Follow your Inner guidance (Spirit) and don’t end up in the belly of the whale. Make sure your choices lead to enjoyable consequences and not suffering.

Deeply grateful for each of you and I look forward to you sharing.

Much love,




Hi, I’m Vince. I am a Critical Care Registered Nurse and Author. Welcome to my site. On this site you will be provided inspirational, educational, and motivational articles. It is my mission to have this information help you achieve Optimal Health which includes Physical Health, Spiritual Health, and Mental Health. My ultimate goal is to create change and stimulate self-healing.


My Need For Validation


Validation is not a bad thing. It can be affirming and positive. It is reasonable to want your ideas, achievements, and choices validated by those around you. Recognition and acceptance of someone else’s experience can be a beautiful thing.

So, when does validation become problematic?

I recently came to the awareness that the desire to get people to like me has motivated the majority of my choices and actions. Particularly in my early life. That awareness and realization has caused me to contemplate. So, now that I’m aware of my need to feel validated and desire to be accepted, where did it all come from. When did it all start?

How can I get to the bottom of this and heal from it? Heal from the root cause of my need to feel validated and accepted.

This is requiring that I go back all the way to my childhood to uncover where that need came from. Through the process of energy work, meditation, a lot of tears, a lot of time alone and the support of a few amazing friends, I am still here. Otherwise, I feel I may not be.

My journey to discovery also is requiring that a few difficult decisions be made. Painful decisions.

My need for validation and acceptance at times has led to behaviors I am not pleased with. Behaviors that left me feeling more void than before I participated in the behavior. Behaviors that have cost me some valuable relationships. I recognize now that the behaviors were yet another subconscious attempt for validation and acceptance.

It certainly does not help that for much of my life I have been clinically depressed. Something I have struggled with but have become very good at hiding and always pretending everything is okay.

For me, my bouts with depression stem from that feeling of not being validated and a feeling of not being accepted. Even as far back as my early childhood, I can remember feeling depressed. Of course, at that time I didn’t know I was depressed. I just knew I felt different and out of place. I found myself feeling sad way back then. Often sitting over in a corner somewhere watching others while at a gathering.

Having a father who was verbally, mentally, and physically abusive left me feeling unworthy, unaccepted, and not validated. This led me to seek that validation in other men. I have allowed those feelings from my father to stick around for far too long. Now when Mr. Right shows up, I end up sabotaging the relationship because deep inside I still feel that sense of unworthiness that was deeply embedded in me from my father.

As my life has progressed, the depression has continued with frequent thoughts of suicide. The break-up of my 18-year relationship and the tragic loss of my beautiful angel and Mother just added more weight to my depression. I knew I had to get help. I started crying out for help to a few close friends. My dearest friend Greg, who is an Energy Healer and life coach has dug me out of the quick-sand more times than I care to mention.

I now know that first and foremost, I need to give myself validation.

One way I am moving toward self-validation (approval) is by keeping a self- appreciation journal. It is a good way to begin to acknowledge the things I am most proud of about myself. The first entry in my self-appreciation journal was, “The work I do both as a writer and nurse makes a difference in people’s lives.”

So now that I’ve discovered where my need for validation comes from, Am I healed? Do I still feel the need to be validated and accepted?

It is a journey for me and not a destination. It is a daily work. If I fail to do the work, I fall right back in to the same pattern of seeking that validation (approval) from others. There is always work to do. Work to become and remain my highest and best self.

I will continue to work at bringing more awareness to my validation seeking thoughts and behaviors. I will continue to work on dealing with the past that led me here in an effort to free myself and feel worthy the next time someone shows me true love.

In Summary: Don’t we all want to be accepted and validated?  I think it becomes problematic when we seek external validation as opposed to looking internally for validation. The truth is, no validation is needed from anyone. It is okay to be who you are. It is okay to live in your truth no matter what that looks like. Those who truly love you will accept you in your truth. Now, I just need to remember this and work on applying it to my personal life.

My Personal Affirmations:

  • I am worthy of love
  • I am ready to receive love
  • I validate and approve of myself
  • I openly receive validation (approval, love) from others

Your continued love and support of me move me deeply. I am grateful for each of you. It is a pleasure to share my journey with you.

Is the need for validation (approval) holding you back? I look forward to your feedback.

Much love,



Vince is a Critical Care Registered Nurse, Published Writer, and Columnist living and loving in Atlanta, Georgia. Enter your email address to receive his monthly Educational, Inspirational, and Motivational 5-minute reads straight to your inbox. You can also follow him on FacebookInstagramLinkedInand Twitter. Your support and feedback are deeply appreciated.



True Love Allows


fullsizeoutput_1a2eTrue love is about allowing. It is not about controlling someone or trying to change someone. True unconditional love simply allows.

There are many different philosophical views about many different topics. Different is the key word here. They are just different. Different does not mean wrong. It just means different. Many wars are fought over our different philosophical views.

I think we can look at the state of our country currently and see what happens when one tries to force their views on another. It ends up in war. It ends up in hate. It ends up in ugly rhetoric instead of love. Love truly does conquer all if we just give it a chance. Instead we are too preoccupied with trying to get our point across and prove we are right and they are wrong.

More specifically in relationships, there can be differing viewpoints on what a relationship looks like. Differing does not have to mean division. It can mean discussion. Meaningful discussion that loves and allows. Loving and allowing also does not necessarily mean agreeing. It is perfectly fine to have different viewpoints. It is not fine to disrespect someone for their different views.

Stop trying to make your companion be what you want them to be. Stop trying to change your companion’s views to line up with yours. That’s control, not love. Simply allow them to be who they are. Allow them to believe what they believe. That’s true love.

We all come from different backgrounds that influence our philosophical views and behavior. Instead of arguing over the differences, have meaningful respectful discussions to understand one’s background and views. That’s true unconditional love.

Fully accepting someone is also accepting who they are. You do not have to agree with them and you may not even understand them, but you must continue to love them. No room for hate.

Life is too short for hate. Life is too short for arguing. If today was your last day to be alive, would you spend it arguing with your companion over your different beliefs and views or would you spend it just having fun with them. Simply loving them. For that matter, would you spend it arguing with anyone.

Let’s take more time to listen to each other. Let’s take more time to simply love and allow. Let’s be respectful of others views without judging, shaming, or condemning them.

What a better place this world would be if we spent more time loving instead of judging. What a beautiful place it would be if we spent more time allowing others the right to their own beliefs and views without judging them. That’s love.

How beautiful a relationship could be if the two involved simply loved and allowed with zero judgement. Love and allow with zero expectations. Love and allow without projecting your own worry, stress, fear, and anxiety on your companion.

How beautiful a relationship could be if you focused more on self-improvement as opposed to constantly doing a performance evaluation of your companion’s life. Allow them to simply be.

Until next time, simply love all those in your life and allow them to be exactly who they are. No approval needed from anyone.

Much love,




Hi, I’m Vince. I am a Critical Care Registered Nurse and Author. Welcome to my site. On this site you will be provided inspirational, educational, and motivational articles. It is my mission to have this information help you achieve Optimal Health which includes Physical Health, Spiritual Health, and Mental Health.