Category: Mental Wellness

We tend to ask for many different things in our life. We want a new house, a new car, and more money. We want more happiness, more patience, and more tolerance. We want to find that special person to share life with.

We ask for many things but are not always prepared when the answer shows up. We pray for patience but then get frustrated when the traffic is slow and we have to wait. It is the perfect time to practice the patience we prayed for but we end up angry and frustrated instead of thankful.

We pray for the pollen to go away because it is making our allergies act up but then complain about the 3 days of rain that is washing the pollen away.

Many times we pray for our families to come together, then adversity hits that brings the family together. If it had not been for the adversity, perhaps the family would have never come together but we end up complaining about the adversity.

We must be aware and willing to accept what we ask for when it shows up and however it shows up. I have also come to realize that we may not always get exactly what we want, but we will always get what we need.

I am finding that often the opposite of what I asked for shows up to test me. It is the perfect opportunity to put into practice what I ask for. For example, when I start my day off asking for more love and tolerance, everything that is unlike love and tolerance will often show up to challenge me. It is my perfect opportunity to practice the love and tolerance I asked for.

Without the challenge, we cannot perfect the skill.

We get our prayers answered but are not always aware of the method used in getting the answer. Be grateful for the slow traffic. Be grateful for the adversity. Be grateful for all the rain. They are all giving us exactly what we ask for.

What are you asking for in your life?

Has it shown up and you just were not aware of it because it did not look exactly as you thought it should?

I look forward to your feedback.

Until next week,

Vince

Ever think about why we repeat the same negative patterns in our lives over and over again? Why does the alcoholic continue to drink after three DUI convictions? Why does the person in an unhealthy relationship keep attracting the same type of person over and over? Why does the smoker with lung cancer continue to smoke? Why does the person with a potentially fatal sexually transmitted disease continue to have unprotected sex?

Ever stop to think that these patterns are meant to be learning experiences for our lives? In other words, that situation in your life will never go away until you have learned the lesson it came to teach you.

I often think about my beautiful, precious mother. She was married to my dad for 25 years before he transitioned. For the sake of family I will just say, it was not a healthy relationship. My mother endured a lot. She unfortunately repeated the pattern with her second husband. It was almost an identical situation. He was unfaithful. He was sick and needed a caretaker. Once again my mother stepped in and played the part.

Why did she repeat the pattern by choosing the same type of person as opposed to someone who would cherish, adore, and take care of her? Again, why do any of us repeat the same patterns? Could it indeed be that we did not learn the lesson the first time around?

Despite my awareness of this situation, I have still repeated the same patterns over and over in many situations and circumstances in my life.  I have grown to belief that some patterns are generational and therefore consequently handed down from our parents and others in our lives.

How can we break these patterns?

I am using a few conscious methods to work on breaking some of the negative patterns in my life. I would like to share them with you.

1. Recognize the Pattern: Being aware of the pattern is the first step to breaking the cycle.
2. Be willing to change by learning the lesson: We must be willing to look at and examine self in an effort to grow and not repeat the pattern. It has been my experience that a desire and true willingness to change is essential for breaking the negative patterns.
3. Take a look at how your life is and what you would like to change: Take time for self-reflection to really go deep inside in an effort to know and feel what you want your life to be like.
4. Do not blame yourself or others for how your life has turned out: Blame blocks our growth and learning. It is not a blame game. It is about learning from the experience of repeated patterns.
5. Assess your environment. Is it healthy or does it lend itself to repeating the same patterns?
6. Change your thoughts:  Take control of your mind.  Change your thoughts from I can’t to I can.  Start believing that you are enough.

Let me be clear, we are co-creators of our own lives. I have found it important to be a conscious creator.  We must ask ourselves the hard questions about why we keep repeating the same patterns.

Many people live their lives reacting to the events around them without taking time to examine their own thoughts and actions. I have found myself repeating the same patterns due to my own thoughts and actions. It is my intention to break the cycle and embrace newness. To begin to be more aware of my thoughts and actions and the repeated patterns that I am creating, in an effort to break the cycle.

What patterns are you repeating in your life?

Have you been able to break some of the patterns in your life and if so, how? Share your own stories about breaking negative patterns in your life. I look forward to your feedback.

Until next week, be blessed and don’t forget to enter your email address (vinceshifflett.com/blog) to receive my weekly blog straight to your inbox.

In Gratitude