What Do I Really Want?


I have come to realize that what I want is exactly what I get. The energy that I put out there is what comes back to me. Many times I say I want one thing but my actions are incongruent with my words. When my actions, thoughts, and feelings line up with my words, then what I want shows up. Every time.

What shows up in our life is completely about us and not about the “what” that shows up.

On a personal note, I say I want that special someone in my life that is educated, loving, caring, compassionate, successful, and most of all makes me a priority. Yet I keep going on dates with people who are missing those qualities. I say with my mouth that I want all these qualities in a mate but the opposite keeps showing up in my life. I want that person who makes me a priority yet I keep hanging on to the one who never has time for me. So my actions do not line up with my words. When the person with all those qualities does show up, and they have many times, I sabotage it with my beliefs, thoughts, and actions.

As long as I am hanging on to the one who never has time for me, the one who does have time for me will not show up or I will not see them when they do.

I have learned that it all comes down to the value I place on myself. If I make myself a priority, place value on my intimacy, love me for all that I am, then that will be reflected in what I attract. On the other hand, if I make sex my priority, then that is what I will get. If I make physical appearance, education, and career the thing that I am looking for, then that is what will show up.

I am not looking for the one that completes me. I am whole and complete as I am. I am looking for that rare individual that is my compliment. My love is mine to give freely, without expectations or conditions. If that is what I give, then that is what I will get. That person is already there, waiting on me. It is up to me to prepare myself and get my self in alignment.

As long as I continue to entertain those who have no time, are married and looking for added sex on the side, or those not living their truth and hiding their sexuality, then that is exactly what I will continue to get. They are a dime a dozen but I am worth more than a dime. I deserve to be first and not second. I deserve to be treasured and not hidden.

What do you want? Do you believe you are worthy? Do you truly value and love yourself?

My Affirmation: Today I see myself as a valued prize. I see myself as someone who deserves to be adored, loved, and made a priority. I know my worth. I know I am a good man worthy of nothing but the best. I will patiently wait on that and when it shows up I will embrace it.

You too are worthy and valued. You too deserve only the best that life has to offer. Stop settling for less. Start affirming your worth and value. Take yourself out of the “dime a dozen” category and place yourself in the “one in a million” category. Because you are one in a million.


Loneliness: My Personal Journey


I have been living alone and single for the past 3 years and for the most part I am good. I have come to appreciate the alone time. It is in the alone time that I have been able to pursue my passions, meditate, pray, and really get in touch with my spiritual being. I would be lying however if I said I never get lonely. I have tons of friends and family who love me dearly. They surround me. So, I’m not really alone. That tells me that the loneliness comes from within.

How can one feel so lonely while surrounded by so many? How can one feel lonely despite the fact that they have a spouse or partner?

I was in an 18 year beautiful relationship, so I understand what it feels like to share that intimacy with someone special. It is an attachment that I believe is desired by most. I also understand the importance of being alone even when the loneliness feeling gets overwhelming.

I had been fine for a couple of weeks. Feeling grateful, blissful, happy, and at complete peace. Then suddenly, while walking out to grab a bite of dinner tonight, it hit me. “It” being that thought and subsequent feeling of loneliness. This is a cycle I allow myself to go through albeit less frequent the more I come in line with the truth that I am really not alone.

So, I am sitting here in this restaurant writing, while allowing the loneliness phase of the cycle to be with me once again. Writing has been incredibly therapeutic for me during these times. I am however determined to not stay here in this feeling of loneliness for long. Being aware of the feeling, coupled with the immediate expression of gratitude, has allowed me to shorten the amount of time I spend with this feeling.

I believe loneliness is part of our human experience and something we all go through at some point in our lives. As a result of that belief, I am learning the importance of not berating myself during the loneliness phase of the cycle but instead accepting that it is a normal human emotion.

A great truth for me was the realization and discovery that we are all connected making it impossible to be alone. Even with the knowledge of this truth, loneliness still invades me to the core at times.

I will continue moving forward toward my quest. My quest to not be free from the experience of human emotions like loneliness, but instead change my reaction to the feelings.

I would love to hear your stories about loneliness. By sharing, you may help someone dealing with that emotion to understand that they are not alone either. None of us are. Spirit is always with us.

Peace and love,





Tomb Time: April 16, 2017

Copyright © 2017. Vince Shifflett. All Rights Reserved.

Dear Readers, thanks for being with me once again and Happy Easter. I am reflecting back on this day and what it means for me. I am reminded of the story of Jesus and how he was crucified, had 3 days of tomb-time, and then resurrected. Keeping in mind that crucifixion implies death or dying and resurrection implies life and new beginnings, this story has strong correlations to my personal life.

There must be a crucifixion before we can experience a resurrection in our personal lives. This I believe to be true. Although many spiritual leaders today would say we have a choice which one we experience, it is my belief that we will experience both and that it is not always our choice. The tragic death of my mother was not my choice but it was certainly crucifixion and a time of suffering for me. I found myself in the tomb for a long time following her death. I do believe however that we are given the choice as to how much time we will spend in the tomb after our crucifixion. The tomb time is very important for reflection and growth but one certainly does not want to stay there.

On a personal note, I have struggled a lot in my life with the choice regarding how long I will stay in the tomb. I have even found myself going back to the tomb over and over again where it can be quite painful. I have allowed the painful experiences (crucifixions) in my life to keep me in the tomb much too long at times. Even with all the beautiful life (resurrection) that surrounds me, I still find myself in the tomb.

According to the story of Jesus, he staying in the tomb for 3 days but then he came out. We are given the beautiful choice, after tomb time, to resurrect and head towards the light or remain in our crucifixion. Despite knowing this, yet I struggle. Getting to the bottom of my struggle I guess requires I dig my tomb (grave) a little deeper to discover what lies beneath.

Crucifixion will come. There will be times when you find yourself in the tomb. How we process and handle the crucifixion determines our tomb time. I am a work in progress. It is my intention to spend more time in the resurrection (life) and less time in the crucifixion (death) but quite honestly, I have spent the last 3 weeks in the tomb. Smiling on the outside but in the tomb on the inside. Going through the motions on the outside but experiencing death on the inside. I think of Robin Williams, the comedian, who was constantly making people laugh and full of life on the outside. The end result told us he was the complete opposite on the inside. It is apparent that he spent too much time in the tomb.

Today, I encourage myself. Today I encourage you. It is resurrection time. Whatever crucifixion (death) you may feel right now, there is resurrection (life) available to us.  This I know. We are Divine beings created by the Divine. The Divine lives in us and flows through us, as us. Every thing that happens in our lives is divinely orchestrated. Even though we may not understand it at the time. We all experience times of crucifixion but we do not have to stay there. Today, at least for today, I am coming out of the tomb. Today I will experience the beautiful resurrection (life) given to me by God.

Peace and blessings




My Personal Gratitude: March 4, 2017

Dear Readers, it is once again a pleasure to be with you for my Weekly Sunday Blog. As I sit here at my kitchen table, I take a deep sigh. It is a sigh of gratitude. Gratitude has proven to be such a powerful thing in my life when I choose to be aware of all I have to be grateful for. So this week I have chosen to share with you some of the things I am grateful for in my life.  The good indeed outweighs the bad.

I am incredibly grateful for my friends of which I have been blessed with many. I attended the memorial service of one of my dearest friend’s mother today. I witnessed so many of my other friends in attendance. Such love and support. So to all my friends, thank you for enriching my life every moment we’re together.

I am grateful for my family. My mother and father are deceased but I have 3 siblings, too many nieces and nephews to count, and 8 great nieces and nephews. My mother’s death made me acutely aware of how important my family is. Always there to lean on when I need it. Always there to listen when I need a listener. So to my family, thank you for your undying love and support of me.

I am grateful for my 27-year career as a Professional Registered Nurse. Most of that was spent in critical care settings like intensive care units. The incredible opportunity to touch so many lives has been humbling and in return those same lives have touched me. So today, I express gratitude for this awesome calling on my life to minister to so many through my profession.

I of course could go on and on about the things I am grateful for.   My feelings hold true that the good indeed outweighs the bad. Bringing myself back to a place of gratitude during challenging times in my life has repeatedly changed my whole situation for the better. So today, I just say thank you.

Have a wonderful week filled with thoughts of gratitude.   I look forward to sharing with you again next Sunday as I have for the past 15 months. That alone has been a huge blessing for me. I am grateful.



The Positive Difference: January 29, 2017

The Positive Difference

Am I making a positive difference in the world? A question I’ve given much thought to recently. What am I doing to help create a world that works for everyone? Do my actions promote positivity?

I realized that I am given hundreds of opportunities, on a daily basis, to make a positive difference in life. I am given the opportunity and choice to change the energy so that it flows in a different direction. Again, the question is, how often do I take that opportunity?

After much thought, I believe the key to making a positive difference is through giving. Giving of your time through volunteer service. Giving a smile. Giving of some of your resources to those with none. Giving a hug. Giving of your talents. Giving love. There are so many ways to give. Am I giving as much as I can to make that positive difference for someone?

In the midst of what can appear at times to be somewhat negative, we can make a positive difference that can have a ripple affect that ends up touching many. For me, I believe that it is only when we give that we receive. I believe there are a lot of positive things going on in our world, and I still believe in the general goodness of mankind despite all the negative things we see and hear in the media.

My intention moving forward is to take advantage of that incredible opportunity, to make a positive difference, by being more mindful and aware of it. It is my hope that you will also be inspired to give, in an effort to make that positive difference. Change the focus from negative to positive. At this time when things are a bit unsettling in our world, how are you making a positive difference? At this time when we are hearing a lot of hatred and negativity, how are you making a positive difference? I would love to hear your stories. Share how you are giving to create that positive difference.

Thanks as always for reading my thoughts. I am incredibly blessed to have your support and feedback as I share weekly from my heart.