There is a myriad of emotions that we all experience from time to time as part of our human experience. Happiness, sadness, loneliness, anger, fear, inner pain, and frustration are some of those emotions. The key to a peaceful, happy life is learning to not let our emotions control us. We are merely inside of ourselves watching the emotions but they are not who we are. I would like to share 4 things that are helping me reign in control of my emotions, keeping in mind that it is a work in progress for me.
- Letting Go: I found myself holding onto anger and hurt because someone said something to me that I did not like. I was letting my mind run away with thoughts such as, “Why did she say that?” “I can’t believe she said that to me” or “I can’t believe she acted that way.” “I can’t believe she offended me or disrespected me like that.” I have come to realize that you can watch the mind be neurotic and disturbed but not get involved. The mind runs away with these negative emotions because we give it the power of our full attention. Let it go. Withdraw your attention.
I was holding onto my stories. Those stories of the tragic sudden loss of my mother, how I was mistreated by my father as a child, and the break-up of my 18 year relationship were controlling my emotions and therefore holding me captive to my inner pain. It’s all because I was giving attention to those stories. Telling everyone I could tell. We have all been through pain, suffering, anger, hurt, and all the other emotions. I realized that my story was not unique. By letting my stories go, my wounds are healing. I am no longer giving them life. We can choose to create a new beautiful story in each moment and let the old story go.
- Being aware: For me it all started with being more aware of what my thoughts were and how I was feeling emotionally. Now when my mind starts going a mile a minute, I am aware of it and I keep it in check. I don’t try and stop it. I just watch it. I watch the mind talk about how hurt I am. If one is not careful, the mind will constantly drive you crazy over nothing. If you do not want it to be that way, stop giving it energy and attention. When you start to see this crazy talk going on in your mind, just take a deep breath, relax your body and relax your heart. Do not get involved. Just be aware of it and let it go. Don’t play the mind game. What used to hold you down can be what wakes you up if you stay aware.
- Prayer and Meditation: Spending time in meditation has allowed me to remain centered in myself. It is what allows me to just watch the mind chatter but not let it affect me. I can relax, practice deep breathing, and let it go. It is the time that I practice silence in an effort to go deep inside and be aware of how I am feeling. It is my time to take inventory and check out what my mind and heart are doing. It is my time to relax and release all emotions that are controlling the way I feel. Avoiding the emotions is not the answer. Shutting down is not the answer. Avoiding the person or situation that cause the negative emotions is not the answer. Relax, release, let go, and express love and gratitude. That is the answer.
- Stop The Blame Game: Stop blaming others because you have chosen to feel hurt, anger, pain, or frustration. You have a choice to let it go. It is really nothing. It is insignificant. By constantly blaming, you are giving life and attention to the anger, pain, hurt, and frustration. You are keeping it alive. No one is to blame.
Ultimately, we are in control to the degree that we are aware and allow ourselves to let go. When we choose to carry the negative emotions around, we only end up hurting ourselves. Wayne Dyer once said, “Do not be offended by anything.” This is a great rule to live by. In the grand scheme of things, is it really worth it? Wouldn’t you much rather be a peace and happy? Show love to those you feel hurt you. Find the lesson and gratitude in that painful experience. In doing so, you will find true inner peace.
I would be honored to have your thoughts and feedback.
Until next week,
Be at peace