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Human Emotions: Do They Control You?

 

There is a myriad of emotions that we all experience from time to time as part of our human experience. Happiness, sadness, loneliness, anger, fear, inner pain, and frustration are some of those emotions. The key to a peaceful, happy life is learning to not let our emotions control us. We are merely inside of ourselves watching the emotions but they are not who we are. I would like to share 4 things that are helping me reign in control of my emotions, keeping in mind that it is a work in progress for me.

  1. Letting Go: I found myself holding onto anger and hurt because someone said something to me that I did not like. I was letting my mind run away with thoughts such as, “Why did she say that?” “I can’t believe she said that to me” or “I can’t believe she acted that way.” “I can’t believe she offended me or disrespected me like that.” I have come to realize that you can watch the mind be neurotic and disturbed but not get involved. The mind runs away with these negative emotions because we give it the power of our full attention. Let it go. Withdraw your attention.

I was holding onto my stories. Those stories of the tragic sudden loss of my mother, how I was mistreated by my father as a child, and the break-up of my 18 year relationship were controlling my emotions and therefore holding me captive to my inner pain. It’s all because I was giving attention to those stories. Telling everyone I could tell. We have all been through pain, suffering, anger, hurt, and all the other emotions. I realized that my story was not unique. By letting my stories go, my wounds are healing. I am no longer giving them life. We can choose to create a new beautiful story in each moment and let the old story go.

  1. Being aware: For me it all started with being more aware of what my thoughts were and how I was feeling emotionally. Now when my mind starts going a mile a minute, I am aware of it and I keep it in check. I don’t try and stop it. I just watch it. I watch the mind talk about how hurt I am. If one is not careful, the mind will constantly drive you crazy over nothing. If you do not want it to be that way, stop giving it energy and attention. When you start to see this crazy talk going on in your mind, just take a deep breath, relax your body and relax your heart. Do not get involved. Just be aware of it and let it go. Don’t play the mind game. What used to hold you down can be what wakes you up if you stay aware.
  2. Prayer and Meditation: Spending time in meditation has allowed me to remain centered in myself. It is what allows me to just watch the mind chatter but not let it affect me. I can relax, practice deep breathing, and let it go. It is the time that I practice silence in an effort to go deep inside and be aware of how I am feeling. It is my time to take inventory and check out what my mind and heart are doing. It is my time to relax and release all emotions that are controlling the way I feel. Avoiding the emotions is not the answer. Shutting down is not the answer. Avoiding the person or situation that cause the negative emotions is not the answer. Relax, release, let go, and express love and gratitude. That is the answer.
  3. Stop The Blame Game: Stop blaming others because you have chosen to feel hurt, anger, pain, or frustration. You have a choice to let it go. It is really nothing. It is insignificant. By constantly blaming, you are giving life and attention to the anger, pain, hurt, and frustration. You are keeping it alive. No one is to blame. 

Ultimately, we are in control to the degree that we are aware and allow ourselves to let go. When we choose to carry the negative emotions around, we only end up hurting ourselves. Wayne Dyer once said, “Do not be offended by anything.” This is a great rule to live by. In the grand scheme of things, is it really worth it? Wouldn’t you much rather be a peace and happy? Show love to those you feel hurt you. Find the lesson and gratitude in that painful experience. In doing so, you will find true inner peace.

I would be honored to have your thoughts and feedback.

Until next week,

Be at peace

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on 5 Comments

Hiding Inside

Hiding inside, withdrawing, or closing down seem to be the most prevalent responses to an uncomfortable situation, person, or thought. It is almost as if it is the normal response. Uncomfortable situations or people are outside forces yet I frequently find myself allowing them to over power my inner force. Over-Power? Yes, at times it feels like a battle between hiding inside and opening up to let the energy flow.

In the past I have found myself upset with a family member, co-worker, friend or situation. Instead of letting it go, I chose to hang on to it and keep it inside. I allowed myself to shut down from that person or situation and instead carry that frustration with me. I discovered that by avoiding the uncomfortable situation or person, I was creating a blockage of beautiful energy. I was essentially hiding inside and not dealing with the root cause of the problem. Me. I was the root cause of the problem.

The root cause of any uncomfortable person or situation lies within one’s self. Shutting down and choosing not to speak to that person, or express loving energy to that person, is not a solution that brings us peace. Deep inside we are hiding. We are carrying it around with us. We have chosen to not let it go. Avoiding it is not letting it go.

I am discovering more everyday that, when I hide inside, withdraw, or shut down, I block the light. I block the beautiful energy from entering in. Guess what? Without energy we die. Without energy we would have no light. Don’t pay your power bill and get your electricity shut off as a result. Pretty dark, huh.

When I raise my shades early in the morning, I am renewed with the light of a new day. I feel an enormous sense of gratitude to be blessed enough to see that beautiful light. Wow, what a privilege. I could just as easily complain because that it is morning and I have to go to work, which I am guilty of at times. I could choose to hide inside and not open up to the light when the shades are raised. It is an incredible choice, available to all.

Hiding inside is a protective mechanism. Although many of these outside forces that cause me to hide inside do not present physical danger, they cause me stress, anxiety, fear and a myriad of other emotions that I just do not want to deal with. I immediately shut down and hide inside to protect myself. In other words, I have the electricity turned off and I choose to remain in the dark.

Because I am scared, stressed, or uncomfortable, I choose to keep the shades to my heart and mind pulled and not let the light in.

Let’s all make the choice to raise our shades today. Let the beautiful light illuminate our spirits. Let the beautiful light brighten our path. Together, let us make a choice to not hide within but instead flourish in the beauty like flowers flourish and grow in the light. Let go, stay open, and love. That energy will come back to you.

Until next week,

Much love

 

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What Does A Million Dollars Look Like?

 

To some a million dollars looks green. They spend their whole life completely focused on that green. So much so, that they miss all the other beautiful colors around them.

I have been thinking a lot lately about how much I am constantly trying to achieve as opposed to just be. Be and not just achieve, is my goal. I am just a little off balance with that. I have always been an over achiever. There is certainly nothing wrong with success and achievement. It is the balance that is important. The balance between achieving and taking time to just be. Taking time to enjoy the journey.

This has led me to ask myself, “What does a million dollars look like to me?”

To me, a million dollars looks like having great friends, family, and other special people in my life. A million dollars looks like love, peace and happiness. It looks like great health and having a conscious awareness of self. It looks like a true spiritual connection with all of God’s creation, recognizing that we are all one.

Money, yes it is important. It is necessary for survival. However, a million dollars is not necessary to survive or even thrive. Most of us have way more than we need. Having grown up in a house with no bathroom or indoor plumbing, I truly understand that most of us now have more than we need. I now have 2 bathrooms. I really only need one.

Do you have way more than you need? Are you still striving to obtain more?

I have come to realize that abundance is not in a bank account. Abundance is in the heart and mind. In other words, it is found in our feelings, thoughts, and how we perceive our life and the world around us.

Share the green with all the other beautiful colors around you. Share it with those less fortunate. Make the world a better place for all.

It is my intention moving forward to spend more time focusing on the beautiful colors around me, and express gratitude for all those colors. It is my intention to spend more time just being and less time thinking about the green. I see life as worth a million dollars. I see my every breath as worth a million dollars. When I think about it this way, I am already a millionaire. We all are.

Until next week,

Peace and Abundance

 

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I often find myself interjecting the word, “but” into the things I think and say. It is a word I am trying to eliminate from my vocabulary. I have found myself saying things like “I believe I can do it, but…………….” “I know I have the talent and gift to be prosperous and successful, but…………” “I know there is a limitless supply but I am barely getting by.” Leave the “but” out and truly feel the limitless supply. Use your words to affirm gratitude daily for the limitless supply.

The “but” implies that I don’t really believe I can do it. I do not really believe I have the talent and gifts to be prosperous and successful. The word but, implies doubt. There is no room for doubt when you truly believe something. When one gets to a place of total belief, without the “but”, then what is desired will come to fruition. It is in that feeling beyond a shadow of any doubt that manifestation occurs.

I realized the “buts” are just excuses. They are not truth. They are barriers that keep me from completely fulfilling my passion and purpose.

The Truth is I am enough.

The truth is there is no lack or limitation.

The truth is the Divine lives in me and flows through me to the degree that I am able to believe without a doubt.

Leave the “but” out.

I also often find myself saying, “I need more money or more time to accomplish what it is I want to accomplish. I need the right contact to get to where I want to be. Defining what you need in order to have what you want actually ends up limiting you. We are limited by our ability to stay open. We are limited by the “but.”

I encourage you today to be conscious of your words. Words are power. Eliminate the doubt from your heart. Eliminate the word “but” totally from your vocabulary. Truly believe and watch what God will do. Our only obstacle is self.

Until next week,

Success and abundance

Posted on 18 Comments

What Do I Really Want?

 

I have come to realize that what I want is exactly what I get. The energy that I put out there is what comes back to me. Many times I say I want one thing but my actions are incongruent with my words. When my actions, thoughts, and feelings line up with my words, then what I want shows up. Every time.

What shows up in our life is completely about us and not about the “what” that shows up.

On a personal note, I say I want that special someone in my life that is educated, loving, caring, compassionate, successful, and most of all makes me a priority. Yet I keep going on dates with people who are missing those qualities. I say with my mouth that I want all these qualities in a mate but the opposite keeps showing up in my life. I want that person who makes me a priority yet I keep hanging on to the one who never has time for me. So my actions do not line up with my words. When the person with all those qualities does show up, and they have many times, I sabotage it with my beliefs, thoughts, and actions.

As long as I am hanging on to the one who never has time for me, the one who does have time for me will not show up or I will not see them when they do.

I have learned that it all comes down to the value I place on myself. If I make myself a priority, place value on my intimacy, love me for all that I am, then that will be reflected in what I attract. On the other hand, if I make sex my priority, then that is what I will get. If I make physical appearance, education, and career the thing that I am looking for, then that is what will show up.

I am not looking for the one that completes me. I am whole and complete as I am. I am looking for that rare individual that is my compliment. My love is mine to give freely, without expectations or conditions. If that is what I give, then that is what I will get. That person is already there, waiting on me. It is up to me to prepare myself and get my self in alignment.

As long as I continue to entertain those who have no time, are married and looking for added sex on the side, or those not living their truth and hiding their sexuality, then that is exactly what I will continue to get. They are a dime a dozen but I am worth more than a dime. I deserve to be first and not second. I deserve to be treasured and not hidden.

What do you want? Do you believe you are worthy? Do you truly value and love yourself?

My Affirmation: Today I see myself as a valued prize. I see myself as someone who deserves to be adored, loved, and made a priority. I know my worth. I know I am a good man worthy of nothing but the best. I will patiently wait on that and when it shows up I will embrace it.

You too are worthy and valued. You too deserve only the best that life has to offer. Stop settling for less. Start affirming your worth and value. Take yourself out of the “dime a dozen” category and place yourself in the “one in a million” category. Because you are one in a million.