Tag: featured

Posted on

Sex: My Personal Thoughts and Experiences

 

 

Sex. It is how we all arrived on this planet as physical beings, right? Yet it seems to be something people rarely dialogue about. It is almost as if it is one big secret. The pink elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about. Why?

Sex is a very powerful act. It has created beautiful life and also destroyed life. It has created immense pleasure and also unbearable pain. It has been used as an expression of love and also as an act of control and abuse.

I struggled with sex for a long time. I felt a tremendous amount of shame around sex. These emotions all came from my childhood where sex was definitely taboo. Never even heard the word. How dare one talk about it but yet it was going on all around me.

I had my first sexual experience at age 8 behind the church while church service was in session. It all just escalated from there. An evangelist who came to our church to hold a revival meeting sexually molested me, at age 12. As I continued on through my childhood, I continued to be taken advantage of by 2 of my mother’s brothers. All of my sexual childhood experiences were with people who were strongly opposed to homosexuality. Interesting, huh?

Even though many of my sexual experiences have been with fellow church members, the church had very restrictive rules about whom you could have sex with and when you could get down. For example, no sex was allowed on Sunday’s and sex was limited to heterosexual missionary-style couplings with the lights off of course. Bottom line is you can’t stop people from having sex no matter how many crazy rules you have about it.

I have continued to struggle a bit with sex through out my life. I have made decisions about sex that have caused me great pain and suffering. I have struggled at times with being able to control my sexual desires. Giving myself to complete strangers as well as giving myself to someone I cared deeply for, only to discover it was just sex for them. Nothing more.

I am grateful to be in a new space of thought and awareness. I have experienced both the constructive and destructive implications of sex. I now have no shame associated with sex. I see it as a beautiful way to express love and intimacy with someone you care about.

I have also found that when I embrace sex as a spiritual act, it brings me closer together in body and mind with another. Sex is a powerful force that when used properly it can be a great catalyst for spiritual growth and healing on many levels.

I do however have more control now and have set the intention to not share it with just anyone. It is a gift in a beautiful package that I will only allow someone special to unwrap moving forward in my life.

Perhaps if there were more liberty and dialogue in our homes about sex, it would decrease some of the negative implications like disease and shame. Stop hiding it. Talk about it. It is part of who we are.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

fullsizeoutput_9b4

Vince is a Critical Care Registered Nurse, Thought Contributor, and Published Writer. He shares his knowledge and personal experience on issues impacting our physical, mental, and spiritual health. Join the conversation at vinceshifflett.com by entering your email address to follow his weekly blog.

 

 

Posted on

Shhing the Voice Inside Me

I am not even sure if shhhing is a word or not but I’m going to use it. One of my pet peeves is when someone puts their finger over their lips and shushes me. Yet, I do it to myself all the time. How many times has my inner voice been speaking to me and I say, “Shhh, be quiet.” “I am talking right now.” “Why are you talking over me?” I find myself constantly quieting my inner voice and continuing on my path even though that inner voice is telling me loud and clear to change directions.

I have actually learned to become more and more aware of my inner voice; however, awareness alone is ineffective. The awareness must be accompanied with action. One would think I would know better by now but you see, it is not about knowing. It is all about doing. Knowledge is indeed power but only if one chooses to use it.

My inner voice is constantly speaking and guiding me. Constantly! But, how many times do I talk over it? How many times do I silence it because it is saying something I don’t want to hear? I want to do it my way. I don’t need the guidance of my inner voice.                        Or do I?

Shhhing my inner voice has not been effective for me. It always leads to a painful outcome. It leaves me lost and void, yet at times I continue the practice of shhhing. This is true in every area of my life, including professional and personal.

If only I could be still long enough to listen to the voice. If only I could be patient enough to follow the guidance of that voice instead of shhing it or talking over it.

Meditation has become key for me in listening to my inner voice. I do not always understand why my inner voice is telling me to go a certain direction but I must follow. It is not always important to understand but it is important to trust. Trust the voice. It will never lead you astray. I have allowed fear to shhh the voice inside me even though I hear it.

Stop shhing your inner voice today and instead let it guide you to a beautiful, abundant life.

Until next week,

Be blessed.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

 

fullsizeoutput_9b4

Vince is a critical care nurse, thought contributor, and published writer. He shares his knowledge and personal experience on issues impacting our physical, mental, and spiritual health. Join the conversation at vinceshifflett.com by entering your email address to follow his weekly blog.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on

4 Ways To Avoid Flu and Cold

fullsizeoutput_bdaWe are in the first half of the flu and cold season. At my place of employment we are seeing an increase in the number of flu cases. I have been very vocal regarding my opinion as it relates to Western Medicine. There is a place for it, however I choose to believe that the creator placed something on this earth to heal whatever ails us. He created a perfect body and gave us the tools to keep it that way. I would like to share 4 things I do to keep the flu and cold at bay just from my personal experience.

  1. Drink Bone Broth: I’ve written several times about the scientifically proven benefits of bone broth. Bone Broth contains valuable minerals in a form your body can easily absorb and use. It also inhibits infections caused by cold and flu viruses thanks to it’s anti-inflammatory amino acid, arginine. I could go on and on about how bone broth can help ward off the flu and cold. I challenge you to do your own research to find recipes. A cup a day will keep the doctor away.
  2. Stay Hydrated: Staying hydrated is critical for many reasons but one of them is to keep the cold and flu at bay. Our brain and heart are made up of approximately 73% water and our lungs, 83% water. Water is also found in our blood. This speaks to the power and importance of water in order for our cells and different systems, such as the immune system, to function properly. The majority of the water in our bodies is found inside the billions of cells. The cells MUST have water to live. Just having this little bit of information is definitely reason for me to comply. I have found that 8 glasses of just pure water a day, at room temperature, have made a big difference for me. Give it a try.
  3. Proper Rest: Rest/Sleep allows your body time to rebuild its body systems such as the nervous system, bones, muscles and just the whole body in general. According to the Sleep Foundation, a 20 to 30 minute nap helps improve mood, performance, and alertness. What does that say to you about proper rest? The job of our immune system is to keep foreign invaders that cause flu and cold away. If the cells of our immune system are not properly hydrated and given adequate time to rest and regenerate, they will not function properly and therefore make us more susceptible to the flu and cold.
  4. Proper Exercise: So, we’ve talked about the fact that most of our body is made up of water. In order to keep the water moving and doing its job, we must be active. The cells that are filled with water move along more fluidly when we keep them well hydrated. Remember the cells must have water to live. I like to think of it as the cells floating through the blood stream and nourishing all our organs and systems such as our immune system. This only happens when you are well hydrated. Regular consistent exercise improves heart and vascular function, controls weight, lowers blood pressure, and boost immunity. Health and Harvard.edu (2017, October 31). How to Boost Your Immune System. Retrieved from https://www.health.harvard.edu. Again I like to think of it as exercise increasing the speed at which my immune system cells move through my body and do their job more efficiently.

There are of course many other things you can do to keep yourself healthy during this cold and flu season including eating a pure healthy diet and completely avoiding sugar in any form. I have found however that consistency is key. When I choose not to practice the 4 ways of avoiding flu and cold, then I end of getting sick or just not feeling my best. When I do decide to practice with consistency the 4 ways to avoid flu and cold, I feel amazing. The answer is not the flu vaccine. That is completely about revenue and not about prevention and good health. The answer is in what the creator has already given us. Use it. It is my hope that you all have a blessed, happy, and healthy flu and cold season.

 

cropped-fullsizeoutput_9b4

 

Vince is a critical care nurse, thought contributor, and published writer. He shares his knowledge and personal experience on issues impacting our physical, mental, and spiritual health. Join the conversation at vinceshifflett.com by entering your email address to follow his weekly blog.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on

Watch Your Mouth: 4 Things To Keep To Yourself

 

 

It is easy to say the first thing that comes to mind sometimes. I am certainly guilty of that. I often regret it after it has been said. I am continuing to learn what to keep to myself. I am also continuing to be aware that my thoughts and feelings do not necessarily need a reaction. As a matter of fact, I have found it beneficial to just be with my thoughts and feelings without reacting to them. There are 4 things I am finding it increasingly important to keep to myself and I would like to share them with you. I am by no means always successful at it however I am at a new stage of awareness regarding my words. For that I am grateful as I continue to personally work on what I write about each week.

  1. Unkind Words: My mother used to say, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” Great words to live by. One never knows what another is going through. Unkind words cause hurt. Unkind words are more of a reflection of the kind of person we are as opposed to the person we are speaking the unkind words about. Our words are mirror reflections of ourselves. What we speak is what we are. When we speak unkind words, we are unkind. Make a conscious effort to be kind and speak only words that uplift. Speak only words that are kind and bring people together versus causing division. We are witnessing first hand the negative implications of unkind words in the political world but unkind words also divide families and friends as well. Let’s choose kindness always and in all situations.

 

  1. Judgment Towards Others: Is it really our place to look at someone and cast judgment on them? Judgment is often cast on people for being fat, skinny, rich, poor, gay, straight, Buddhist, Christian, Muslim or anything that may be different from what one has decided is right. We are all on our own individual journey. Our role is to love and respect everyone’s journey even though it may be different from ours. Just because someone is on a different path than you, doesn’t mean they are lost.

 

  1. Assumptions: Assumptions are not based on fact. We have seen many assumptions made in the political world recently. People assuming that because it was posted on Facebook, it is truth. I have found it important to do my own research and not make assumptions based on someone else’s words. I have also made the assumption that someone is angry when in reality they are really just hurt. Assuming that a person speeding down the road is a bad driver when in fact they may have just gotten the news that their loved one had a heart attack, and is in critical condition, so they are rushing to the hospital in a panic. I have been guilty of making the assumption that someone is obese because they over-eat. That may be far from the truth. Make sure to know the facts before assuming anything about any person or circumstance.

 

  1. Negative Chatter: Unkind words, judgment toward others, and assumptions are all part of negative chatter however it involves so much more. It also includes negative self-talk. How many times have you berated yourself with negative chatter like, “My nose is too big”, “My boobs are too small”, or “I’ve made a mess of my life?” Michael Singer once said, “Your words have the power to make you feel better or worse about what is going on now, what has gone on in the past, or what might go on in the future.” We all will have those negative thoughts. We can stop them at the level of the thought and not give life to them with our words. “I dread going to work today”, “I am so sick of not having any money”, “I will never find my soul-mate”, “She makes me so mad”, and “I am tired of all this rain”, all implies negativity. Turn your words around today and watch what comes out of your mouth.

Speaking unkind words, judging others, making assumptions, and negative chatter all lead to hurt and discord. They also disrupt our inner peace. I have found it best practice to watch what comes out of my mouth and keep it to myself instead. Speak only kind words. Judge not that ye be not judged. Know the absolute facts about everything instead of making assumptions. And lastly, don’t allow the negative thoughts to turn into negative chatter. You will be a happier, healthier person as a result.

Until next week,

Practice love, kindness, and peace

Posted on

Four Healthy Additions To Your Diet

featured

 You are what you eat. True words indeed. What we eat determines our energy level, our ability to process thought, our ability to respond, longevity, and our overall health and wellness. There are many healthy additions we can add to our diet. I would like to share 4 of them that have made a difference in my health and wellness.

  1. Bone Broth: It is a source of bio-available nutrients in an easy-to-digest form. Its amino acid structure and high gelatin content makes it soothing and healing for the gut and enhances the absorption of nutrients from other foods as well. The amino acids found in bone broth also reduce inflammation in the gut. As we now know that much of our immune system is in the gut, the broth is a very important food to keep us healthy. A cup of daily bone broth is a great alternative to the flu vaccine during flu season. The vaccine has never been proven to work but has been shown to cause illness and make the pharmaceutical companies billions of dollars. Broth contains collagen, which supports hair, skin and nail health. Collagen keeps the skin smooth, firm, and reduces wrinkles. It also contains glucosamine, chondroitin sulphates and other compounds that support joint health. With the average American diet, essential amino acids are difficult to get. Bone broth is an excellent source of these amino acids. My only advice would be to make sure you are using the bones of a healthy animal to make the broth. Many recipes can be found on the internet. Check them out.
  2. Coconut Oil: I could probably write a short book on the proven benefits of coconut oil. To start, coconut oil contains Medium Chain Triglycerides (MCT’s), which include lauric acid, capric acid and caprylic acid. These acids have antifungal, antibacterial and antiviral properties that make it beneficial for immune support. MCTs are also well-known for their ability to contribute to focus and mental performance. Adding coconut oil to a drink in the morning can help improve mental performance all day. It is also good for digestive health. Its antimicrobial properties can help fight irritation and infection in the gut from a fungal infection known as Candida. So much more could be said about Coconut oil. I eat a tablespoon right out of the jar, or mix it in my morning protein shake. Give it a try to notice the amazing health benefits.
  3. Raw Apple Cider Vinegar: Wow, what a difference this had made to my health. It is full of bacteria fighting properties therefore helps keep infection at bay. The scientific evidence is overwhelming in support of consuming this powerful ingredient. It is also full of potassium and other enzymes that give you a “pick me up” and a great boost to your energy level. It has also been shown to prevent diabetes due to its ability to lower blood sugar levels. If you are taking toxic statins to lower your cholesterol, give raw apple cider vinegar a try. In studies, it has been proven to lower cholesterol levels. This is not information you are likely to hear from your doctor. Keep in mind that western medicine is more about revenue and less about healing. If the taste is too pungent, you can add it to your water in the morning or you can add it to your salad dressing. I add about 2 teaspoons to 8 ounces of water in the morning and drink it first thing. You will feel the difference after a couple of weeks of daily use.
  4. A Food-Based Multi-vitamin and Mineral: The research has shown that most Americans are deficient in essential vitamins and minerals because of our diets. According to one study from Scientific America, three-quarters of all U.S. teens and adults are deficient in Magnesium and Vitamin D. They go on to say that low levels of these essential elements lead to an increase in cancer, diabetes, and heart disease. It is also important to note that the multi-vitamin should be food based and should be in capsule form for easier digestion. I encourage all my patients to have their levels of vitamins and minerals checked when they have routine annual lab-work. It is about taking your health into your own hands. 

Give these 4 additions a try. Add them to your diet consistently, especially during flu season, for guaranteed results. You will remain happy, healthy, and full of energy. I look forward to hearing your stories and thoughts as you share your feedback.

As always, thanks so much for taking time to read my blog. I feel incredibly blessed to be able to share my knowledge, thoughts and experience with you each week. I hope you will enter your email address and sign up to follow my Weekly Sunday Blog.

Until next week,

Be well and live your best life.