Suffering and Pain: March 13,2016

Suffering and pain

Suffering and pain is not unique to an individual. It is something that we all experience in our lifetime. It is the means by which we can choose to learn and grow. The old cliché, “growing pains” actually has a lot of meaning when it comes to our mental, physical, and spiritual health. Sometimes we go through painful situations that lead to tremendous growth in all dimensions of our health.

I memorialized my suffering and pain. I gave myself a trophy for the most suffered. I set it up on the mantle and looked at it everyday. I had convinced myself that I, and only I, had suffered like this. I had been the victim of pain and suffering that no one else would or could understand. I held onto my suffering and pain. I held onto the pain of my relationship break-ups, the death of my mother, my diagnosis, the death of my pets and anything I could hold onto to stay in the victim role.

Once I realized that all suffering and pain comes into our lives to teach us a lesson, I was able to start thinking about it differently. Once I realized that we all suffer, I was able to stop making my pain special. I would not be who I am today, or where I am today, without the experience of the suffering and pain I’ve endured in my life. For that, I must be grateful. Being grateful for the suffering and pain allowed me to see it from a different perspective. Asking myself, what do I need to learn from this painful experience led me down the path of self-awareness and self-healing.   For me, each situation of pain and suffering has turned out to be a lesson in being humble and an opportunity to deepen in wisdom.

According to the bible when Jesus was crucified and placed in the tomb, he stayed there for 3 days. The enlightening moment for me was when he decided to come out of the tomb and head toward the resurrection. We have a choice. We can stay in the tomb or we can come out and make our way toward resurrecting ourselves and bringing self-healing. It’s easy to stay buried in the tomb of our pain and suffering. We can feel trapped there with no way out but we must understand that it is our choice. When we come out of that tomb, we can either choose to head toward the resurrection or back to the crucifixion. Tomb time is necessary and part of the process but we must not stay there.

I hope you will come out of the tomb today and start the process of self-healing. Know that you are special. Know that you are enough. Know that you are divinity and that the one source that created us all, lives in you. Know that you are love and that you are loved.

Your comments and feedback would be greatly appreciated.  It is also my hope that you will sign up to follow my blog by email.  I look forward to seeing you next Sunday for the weekly Sunday blog.  Until then, peace and many blessings to you all.

Are you the healthiest you can be? Its your choice: March 6, 2016

Are you the healthiest you can be? It’s your choice: March 6, 2016

Are you the healthiest you can be? If not, what decisions can you make to change that? Optimal Health is the most important asset you can have in life. Keeping in mind that the 3 dimensions of Optimal Health (Mental, Spiritual, and Physical), all work synergistically with each other. It is impossible to be in excellent physical health and poor mental health.   For example, research has shown that stress leads to disease and illness. Stress is a mental issue that greatly affects our optimal physical health. Stress causes the release of a hormone, in our body, known as cortisol. Cortisol increases inflammation, throughout the body, which makes us more prone to many diseases such as diabetes and heart disease.

I am reminded of a time in my life when I wasn’t healthy. I was disconnected spiritually, I was in poor condition physically, and I was a wreck mentally.   I finally realized that I was a wreck mentally because I was disconnected spiritually and I was in poor condition physically because I was a wreck mentally. No separating the three. For me it started with my spiritual being.  Through a process of silence, meditation, prayer, and reconnecting with a spiritual center, I was able to begin to heal myself spiritually. The rest is history. The mental being and physical being had to come in alignment with my spiritual being. We are all spiritual beings having a human experience. The problem for me is when I start to think, feel, see, and do things the human way instead of the spiritual way. I get it twisted and it takes a constant mindful awareness to keep it straight.

Spirit is unconditional love for every living being.  Spirit is truth. Spirit is compassion. I am working on always knowing that I am a spiritual being. Do I get caught up in the human experience at times? Yes, but those humans experiences only lead to lessons learned. They only draw me closer to my spiritual being. The closer I stay connected to my spiritual being, the closer I stay to optimal health.

Who wants to have illness and disease? It is imperative then that we understand that the connection to disease and illness lies in the spiritual and mental dimensions of optimal health. I trust this will encourage you to think about where you are in each dimension. If you are unhealthy, ask yourself the tough questions about your mental and spiritual health. Are you holding onto negative emotions?   Making decisions falls under the mental health dimension. Are you making the best decisions to be physically healthy? Are you exhibiting the true virtues of a spiritual being? Think about it.

Make a conscious decision to evaluate your every thought and action then ask yourself, am I coming from a place of a human being or spiritual being. It is my desire to always come from a place of spiritual experience in my life. I trust this will encourage you to do the same.

See you next Sunday for my weekly Sunday blog.   Peace and blessings!

Winter Silence: February 28, 2016

Winter Silence 

As we near the end of winter, I think about the silence that winter brings. Longer days of darkness, no more birds chirping, no more leaves rustling in the trees, no more kids running around outside, or cookouts by the pool. I also think of winter as a time of hibernation. A time when people typically spend more time indoors.

February 2015 in the middle of the cold winter, I moved out on my own, for the first time in about 24 years, after a challenging and difficult break-up from someone I loved dearly. I went from living in a 6-bedroom/5-bath house, to a tiny one-bedroom apartment. I was afraid, sad, and lonely. I was afraid of the silence. I pondered the question why am I 52 years old and alone? I wondered if I would be alone for the rest of my life. It was a dark  silent time.

Life is kind of like the ocean with our surface mind being like the waves, on the surface of the ocean, which are always moving and never still or silent. If you go deep into the bottom of the ocean, however, it is calm, still, and silent. The same is true for our minds. If we go deeper into our minds, it is calm and still.

This past year has taught me that at the center of my being is a place that nothing or no one can disturb without my permission. For the first 6 months of living alone I was living on the surface. I was in the surface mind. Worried, fearful, lonely and sad. After a period of time, I realized that I could go into my deeper mind where there was peace, calmness, and silence. I could go to the center of my being. The past year of silence and being alone has lead to tremendous self-healing, a beautiful reconnection to my spiritual being, and great personal growth. Turning inward to my deeper mind and diving deeper into the ocean has helped me reconnect with my inner sanctuary. Something we all have inside of us if we take the time to be silent. Do not look for a sanctuary in anyone except yourself. I was looking for my sanctuary in other people not being aware that it was inside of me all the time.

As the time recently came for me to sign a new lease on my tiny modest apartment in the city, I found myself back in my surface mind experiencing sadness and realizing that I would be alone again for at least another year. As much as I tried to go back into the deeper mind, I struggled. I stayed on the surface for about 3 weeks, sad and miserable. Then my dear friend and life coach, Greg reminded me that by signing a new lease I just bought myself another year of self-healing, another year of focusing on my spiritual connection, and another year of independence. What a beautiful thing to realize for myself. It changed my whole outlook on the situation.

Silence is where our answers come from. The answers to all our tough questions are already within us. We just have to be silent and ready to receive the answers. They may not be the answers we want to hear which has sometimes kept me from asking.

You can experience Winter Silence year round. Sit aside several times a day to just be silent and focus on your breathing. Focusing on your breathing will keep your surface mind from wandering. On exhalation, dive deep into the ocean, deep into your mind. There you will find peace. There you will find answers to your questions. There you will find silence. This takes practice and consistency but the benefits have been life changing for me.

How do you connect to your inner sanctuary? How do you connect to the center of your being? Do you practice silence? I would love to hear about your experiences as well. It is my hope that you all have a week of connection to your deeper mind, the center of your being, your inner sanctuary. Have a peaceful week and I’ll see you next Sunday for the weekly Sunday blog.

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Peace and blessings

Walls or Bridges: February 21, 2016

Walls or Bridges: February 21, 2016

Walls divide and bridges connect or bring together. Recently there has been a lot of talk among one of the current presidential nominees about building walls.  We allow many things to build walls between us such as religion, politics, race, sexual orientation, and gender. We also allow many emotions to build walls between us such anger, resentment, bitterness, jealousy, and the need for power.

We are ALL created by one source and one power which makes us ALL part of the same source. We are ALL created equal and in the image of God.  When we make a decision to exclude someone based on our differences, we exclude ourselves from God because we are ALL part of his creation.  God is all-inclusive. God is love. God is source. Since we were ALL created by one source, we have a responsibility to love that source in its entirety.

It is not important or realistic to think that you have to agree with everyone else’s views, beliefs, or ideas. What is important is that we build bridges to connect us, by loving ALL without judgment. Remember bridges connect and bring together. We can agree to disagree but at the same time respect others.

Writing this makes me think of my dear Mom. She was a devote Christian who lived the life instead of talking about the life. She lived by example. In her many years of caring for the sick, at the hospital where she was employed, she provided the same loving care to ALL people regardless of their religious belief, race, gender, or sexual orientation. She would often tell me stories about her patients and their different lifestyles, beliefs, or rituals. She was so compassionate and none of the differences made a difference to her. She chose to build bridges instead of walls. She chose to come together instead of separate. It will always be the thing that I remember and respect about her most. I always knew that Mom did not agree with my lifestyle from her Christian point of view. It made no difference in the way she looked at me and loved me. The beauty is, it wasn’t just me. She truly loved all without judgment. She did let the differences make a difference.

Are you building walls or bridges? Do you love ALL of God’s creation or just those who see things the way you do? Our similarities are far greater than our differences. We ALL experience hurt, sadness, and pain. We ALL breathe the same air. What can you do to build more bridges and tear down more walls?

I make a conscious decision to practice more bridge building, to see ALL life as part of God’s creation, to love ALL, to respect ALL. I put the word ALL in capital letters each time in this sharing of my thoughts in an effort to emphasize the importance of the word. Make a commitment with me today to work to build more bridges in every area of your life. It is sure to lead to a happier, more fulfilled life.

See you next Sunday for my weekly Sunday blog. Thanks as always for your support and don’t forget to enter your email address and sign up to follow my blog.


Peace and blessings

Letting Go February 14, 2016

Letting go, or releasing something, can be a negative or positive experience depending on how we choose to view it.  It is always our choice. Letting go is often vital for our personal growth but can be challenging.  It takes courage and faith because we can’t always see what lies ahead.

There are many things that we choose to hold onto in life that keeps us from growing and moving forward.  I like to call them unhealthy attachments.  We may be holding onto old thoughts, personal experiences, past relationships, negative emotions and feelings, or current job.  It is easy to get stuck in our comfort zone and allow fear to keep us from changing. When we hold unhealthy attachments, we prevent ourselves from fully experiencing the present and the future.

I recently left a job that could be considered a cakewalk in terms of nursing positions.  It was about a 2 out of 10 on the stress continuum.  However I was not challenged, inspired, or motivated.  I also did not feel appreciated by my manager.  I was, however, comfortable. It was easy money. It was difficult to make a decision to leave such an easy position, not knowing what the new position would be like. Ultimately, I made a decision to step out of the boat and into the water.  It took faith and courage. The new job is going great with a lot of new learning and growth.

What are you holding onto that is keeping you from moving forward, learning, and growing?  Are you in a toxic relationship or just holding onto a relationship because it is comfortable?  Are you holding onto negative feelings such as anger, resentment, jealousy or bitterness?  Are you choosing to hold onto negative thoughts?

Deciding to view things positively will empower you to make the right decisions and let go. Negative thoughts and self-criticism do not make us better.  They only continue to make us feel stuck and unable to move forward.  Let go today of whatever is not serving your better good.  Move forward knowing that what lies ahead is something beautiful.  Move forward knowing that you are enough.  Choose to let go of whatever is having a negative impact on you and taking up precious mind space.  Remember, new beginnings are always possible, no matter what.  It is your choice and yours alone.


Peace and blessings